Truly Lunchtime News Chum… and Amusing Headlines

As is my tradition, here’s some lunch time news chum… this time about food! After that, a couple of headlines I found odd to read.

  • The Red Stuff. It appears that just as the French have exerted control over their language, France is restricting use of ketchup in the country. Specifically, the French government has banned school and college cafeterias nationwide from offering the iconic American tomato-based condiment with any food but — of all things — French fries. Moreover, French fries can be offered only once a week, usually with “steak haché,” or burger. (Of course, this is fine with me, as I cannot stand ketchup).
  • Exiled Beasties. When Cuba nationalized rum production ages ago, Bacardi was smart. They got their yeast out of the country, and destroyed any that was in Cuba. It’s actually a fascinating read, especially if you want to know how rum is made.
  • Breaking the Mold. An interesting article on affinage, the fine art of making ripened cheese. Much as I love cheese, I fear this is moving into the realm of the wine experts who pontificate over changes no one else can taste (I have similar thoughts about sound quality snobs).

And now, some headlines seen in the papers:

Effects of DES Exposure Follow Women for Decades. I know the algorithm is broken, but why does it just affect women and last so long. I know I generally feel safer if I can use AES.

Brown rejects bill allowing unions of home child-care providers. I know they are delaying fighting Prop 8, so we won’t have same sex unions, but Brown’s action seems ridiculous. I mean, if both parents work from home, this means they can’t be married.

ETA: Jackson death investigator grilled by defense. I wonder if this made him palatable for the ex-model who cooked and ate her husband’s body parts?

See, not only can I bring it to three headlines, I can bring it back to food!


Cringe-Worthy Headlines

Some headlines seen during a quick lunchtime skim:

I’d say that if you have a good headline, you should send it to Jay Leno, but….


Tuesday News Chum

  • From the “Say That Again?” Department: Headline seen on CNN: “Bush arrives in Texas; Residents urged to leave”
  • From the “Nothing Up My Sleeve” Department: We all know that the budget compromise developed by the California Senate/Assembly supposedly does not raise taxes. But it is going to hit all of us in the pocketbook. According to the LA Times:

    Some businesses and individuals would have to pay their taxes sooner, and some would have to pay more than they owe and would get the extra back later. State taxes withheld at the workplace would jump 10% for everyone.

    Translation: Your paycheck will go down, because your withholding will go up. Yes, you’ll get the money eventually, but without any interest. Taxpayers who file quarterly would have to pay more of their taxes earlier in the year. The plan is loaded with accounting gimmicks, and does make large cuts to education.

  • From the “Coffee, Tea, or Me” Department: I probably should have posted this yesterday in honor of pradagirl’s birthday… the New York Times has a very interesting article on the life of a flight attendant. No, it’s no longer the swinger’s life of the 1960s movies. It’s a hard and unappreciated job. Good read.
  • From the “McCain/Gore” Department: You know how Al Gore invented the Internet (funny, I though it was Lenny Kleinrock). Well, John McCain is responsible for the Blackberry. It must be so, because CNN says it. Specifically, McCain senior domestic policy adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin recently held up his Blackberry, stating, “[John McCain] did this. Telecommunications of the United States, the premiere innovation in the past 15 years, comes right through the Commerce Committee. So you’re looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create. And that’s what he did. He both regulated and de-regulated the industry.”
  • From the “And the Dominos continue to Fall” Department: The news from Wall Street just continues to get worse. Just last week there was the hope that the support of Freddie and Fannie would buoy things a bit. But come this week, we have Lehman Bros. going Chapter 11, Merrill Lynch becoming part of BofA (which certainly knows its bull), AIG is faltering and may collapse by the end of the day (and if it doesn’t, it won’t make the week). The Fed has kept rates steady (the market was hoping for a drop), T-bill rates are falling as everyone rushes to safety (which may have the upside of lowering 30 year mortgate rates). We’re likely to see more companies engulfed by the panic, irrespective of whether they actually deserve to day: WaMu, Wachovia, or even Downey. We’re seeing massive job losses: over 24K at HP, and who knows how many from Lehman Bros and AIG. But throughout this all, we’re being told that our money is safe, and its just a little glitch. McCain thinks the fundamentals of the economy remain strong, and thinks the problem is unbridled corruption and greed (notwithstanding that his parties official stance is that less regulation is good, and giving the large companies more money actually helps the little people). Obama thinks this is the most serious financial crisis since the great depression, and calls for more consumer protection and regulations (although I don’t see statements about how to handle the massive failures). Me? I’m just glad that the buildings in New York have sealed windows these days, or we would be scraping investment bankers off the street.

Wednesday News Chum

Well, as the LA Times site is acting up (you get empty pages when you click on stories), here are some observations from a lunchtime review of some other papers:

  • From the “Mel, Oh, Mel” Department: Headline in the SF Chronicle: “Rockridge Shaken By Holdup“. Hmmm, I wonder if Hedley Lamar is behind it.
  • From the “Nickel and Dime Me” Department: United Airlines is dropping free snacks in coach, raising the price of buy on board meals, and getting rid of meals in Domestic Business Class. All in the name of “cost reduction and revenue-generating opportunities”. Somehow, I suspect the latter more. As my business travel tends to be on United, I guess this means buying or bringing more food. I don’t think they are charging for soft drinks yet, but as Useless Airlines is doing that, I suspect Untied will soon follow suit. Here’s an interesting thought for the legacy carriers: perhaps people might be willing to pay higher fares if there was an equal level of customer service. If you keep cutting services, you’ll have even more resistance to higher fares.
  • From the “On the Road Again” Department: The Ventura County Star has an interesting article on road improvement projects on US 101 in Santa Barbara. This is of particular interest to me, not only due to my highway pages, but because I periodically commute to VAFB.

Headlines in the News

Today brings another edition of “Headlines in the News”: specifically, those headlines that are written in such a way that you misinterpret them:

  • St. Louis Post Dispach: Mizzou’s Temple won’t play vs. OU. Now, I’m Jewish. I saw this as a congregation in Columbia MO refusing to do business with the largest Kosher organization, the Orthodox Union (OU). But, nooooo. It’s about a running back being injured and not playing against Oklahoma. Not what I was expecting.
  • Los Angeles Daily News: Church prefers bondage to strip club. Now, you and I might think this was about a kinky church that has a different way of penalizing sinners. But noooooo. It is actually about a strip club attempting to move into a former (ahem) meat market next to a bondage club, and a nearby church prefering the bondage club as a neighbor to the strip club.

So what’s your favorite misleading headline from today’s news?

Two other tidbits from today’s news:

  • Burger Continental Toasts. There was a fire at Burger Continental in Pasadena :-(. It is unclear when it will reopen.
  • Cosplay. Interesting article on cosplay in today’s Chicago Tribune.

Headlines. Get’cher Headlines Here

#1: CNN: Bush spokesman Snow has growth in abdomen

  • … Subsequent analysis has shown that illegal aliens are slowly taking over the administration.
  • … Snow later admits, “I’m carrying George’s love child, and I don’t care who knows.”

#2: CNN: Man arrested in delivery of dog’s head to neighbor

  • … Sources say he erred by not using UPS.
  • … That’s what you get for not using a lifetime stamp.

#3: NYTIMES: Brain Injury Said to Affect Moral Choices

  • … Scientists say finding explains the Moral Majority.
  • … Conservatives claim this as proof Homosexuality is curable.

#4: LATIMES: Giuliani, Wife Each Married Three Times:

  • … Rudy is quoted as saying, “Take that, Mitt”
  • … Gives a new meaning to “Sex in the City”, doesn’t it?

#5: CNN: Cosmetic surgery rates up; breasts most popular

  • … Surveys indicate it is easier for boobs to get elected.
  • … In related news, balloon manufacturers indicate their business is swelling…

#6: NYTIMES: The Year Without Toilet Paper

  • … Participants indicate it is a pretty crappy existance.
  • … Observers thought those who wanted to do it were full of shit.

Of course, feel free to add your own. I’m here all week. Try the haddock sandwich… it’s delicious… early in the week.


Who Writes These Headlines?

Washington Post: Well-Paid Benefit From Economy
No shit! What do you expect: “Economy booms. Poor do great. Businessmen lose their shirts.”

The Futon Critic: George Stroumboulopoulos named Host of ABC’s ‘The One’
You know, I remember the days when actors would shorten their professional names.

New York Times: N.Y. Building Collapse Is Blamed on Gas Explosion
Two words. Mongo. Beans.

CNN: Congress having trouble passing anything
Two words. Mongo. Beans.
Alternate responses: (1) One word. Metamucil; (2) Gee, I always knew Congress was full of…

Los Angeles Times: Senate to Hear Detainee Issue After Recess
And the teacher said they could play dodgeball too!

SJ Mercury News: Newlyweds registering for dollars, not presents
But I can never seem to get that $100 with the serial number I want.