I Have Too Much Booze. What Should I Do?

Background: Neither my wife nor I are drinkers. We have the occasional wine, and the occasional liqueur. To give you an idea of how little we drink… I still have bottles of champaigne from our wedding… in 1985! My mom, on the other hand, drank. When my dad died, his collection of liquor came to us. Recently, another family friend died. Neither of their kids drank… and so their liquor came to us as well.

So, now we’ve got loads of liquor and liqueur… more than our bar can hold. We’re at a loss for what to do with it. Complicating factors are that none of our social circle are drinkers, or if they do, it is wine or beer, not the hard stuff. That was my parent’s generation. I know no one who drinks scotch these days. Additionally, my wife is gluten-free, so she can no longer drink stuff made from a mash that includes wheat, oats, rye, or barley.

So what do I have? Here’s a list (this does not include wine, champaigne, or sherry). Numbers indicate multiple bottles. In some cases, bottles are unopened.

Ancient Age 86 Bourbon Whiskey
Canadian Club Whiskey
Chivas Regal Scotch Whiskey (3)
Clan MacGregor Scotch (2)
Crown Royal Whiskey
Dewar’s White Label Scotch Whiskey
Johnnie Walker Black Label Extra Special Scotch Whiskey (2)
Johnnie Walker Red Label Scotch Whiskey
Laphroaig Scotch
Lord Calvert Canadian Whiskey
Old Smuggler Blended Scotch
Pinch Scotch

Fashion Square Dry Gin

Lucky Vodka
Monopolowa Vodka
Smirnoff Vodka (2)
Vodka of the Gods

Seniorita Tequila
Tequila Cuervo Especial (2)

Bacardi Rum
Kancoe Caraibe Rum Blanc
White Rum (Generic)

Angostura Aromatic Bitters

Martini & Rossi Dry Vermouth
Paul Masson Double Dry Vermouth

Amaretto de Saronno
Banana Liqueur (Jacquins)
Benedictine & Brandy (B&B)(2)
Blackberry Brandy (Arrow)
Blackberry Cordial (Hiram Walker)
Blackberry Flavored Brandy
Blackberry Liqueur/Brandy (Gaetano)
Brandy (Armorrow)
Brandy (E&J)
Brandy (Korbel)
Carolans Irish Creme
Cherry Herring (2)
Cherry Liqueur (Hiram Walker)
Cognac (Courvoisier)
Cointreau (2)
Creme De Menthe (De Kuyper) (3)
Creme de Menthe (Hiram Walker)
Drambuie (5)
Dry Blackthorne Fermented Cider
Frangelico Liqueur
Glayva Liqueur
Harvey’s Bristol Creme (4)
Irish Mist Liqueur
Kahlua (4)
Licor de Cafe (Dos Santos)
Orange & Fine Old Cognac Brandy
Orange Curacao (De Kuyper)
Orange Curacao (Hiram Walker)
Peppermint Stick Liqueur (Candy Store)
Rocky Road Liqueur (Candy Store)
Touche Triple Sec Liqueur

Suggestions on what to do with this? The answer “Throw one hell of a party” is not acceptable; I don’t want the liability. It does feel wrong to go and donate it to the local chapter of AA, or hand it out to the bums on the street. What is good quality stuff, and what is the quality of Budweiser? Where does it make sense to combine bottles, if that is possible. Suggestions from the lushes out there are welcome. Note: I do claim the Crown Royal bag for gaming purposes. After all, I know what is important!

[Please remember to update my Johari Window]