Lyrics: Happy Birthday [Weird Al Yankovic]

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John. He pulls out his accordion, and then starts singing “Happy Birthday” (from Weird Al Yankovic’s debut album) for [assignment: name]:

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday,
It happens every year
We’ll eat a lot of broccoli
And drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy
That there’s something you can eat
A million people every day
Are starving in the street

Your daddy’s in the gutter
With the wretched and the poor
Your mama’s in the kitchen
With a can of Cycle Four
There’s garbage in the water
There’s poison in the sky
I guess it won’t be long
Before we’re all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what’s the matter little friend,
You think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can,
We’ll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon
Are gonna cook our goose
Their finger’s on the button,
All they need it an excuse

It doesn’t take a
Military genius to see
We’ll all be crispy critters
After World War III
There’s nowhere you can run to,
Nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one,
We all get fried

(Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well there’s a punk in the alley
And he’s looking for a fight
There’s an Arab on the corner
Buying everything in sight
There’s a mother in the ghetto
With another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today
There’s misery and greed

I guess you know the Earth
Is gonna crash into the sun
But that’s no reason why
We shouldn’t have a little fun
So if you think it’s scary,
If it’s more than you can take
Just blow out the candles
And have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

(Happy Birthday!)

And a pinch to grow an inch!

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