OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his electric guitar. He plugs it into the amp, and starts singing today’s birthday song for talonvaki:
| Allright, Ralph…happy birthday…you freak… You’re breakin’ hearts and you’re breakin’ guitars Today’s your birthday and you don’t even know how old you are You’re in love with every woman from tyler You went swimming in the ocean with my goddamn dialer You used to be fat, I think then I liked you best ‘Cuz now you’re skinny, I’m chubby, And you make fun of my breasts And I’m sorry, but this may sound weird But you gotta do something ’bout the food in your beard
You can’t wear your bike hat because of your hair |
Some people, they think, they think you’re Rhastafarian And they ask you for pot I think I like it, I know I like it I like it a lot because, because it pisses you off So for your birthday I got you some hawaiian punch on tap Age p.o.t. So now you can stop borrowing my stuff And trying your new Kung Fu moves out on me
You can’t wear your bike hat because of your hair Happy birthday, Ralph, I love you Happy birthday, Ralph, I love you |
The Sheriff looks mildly disturbed after singing this, and walks off the set, mumbling to himself “kids and their music these days…”
