Cere-BRUM! Cere-BRUM!

As I have said before, the news seems to be becoming a parody of itself. It appears PETA is up in arms about Seattle’s Pike Place Market. Today, I’ve heard they are upset about merchants there tossing brains around. As the economy has gone down and fish have become scarcer, the merchants moved from fish to brains… and business has grown thanks to the zombies at Microsoft. I’ve heard how customers can point to an attractive large lobe, and another merchant will scoop it up from the ice, hoist it over his shoulder and send it flying 15 feet toward the counter. “Cere-BRUM! Cere-BRUM! Heyyyyyy!” six men scream in unison. “Goin’ right home! Goin’ right home!” The counterman catches the hurtling lobe neatly between the fore and mid brain and slaps it onto a wrapping sheet.

But PETA is just up in arms. Asserting that the practice of lobbing brains above the heads of patrons and tourists at the market and other venues is disrespectful to creatures that already have gone through a lot, the group is protesting plans to stage a flying-brain exhibition. They argue that tourists would not be nearly so eager to snap photos if dead kittens or gutted lambs were sailing over their heads.

“Killing … so you can toss bodies around for amusement is just twisted,” said Ashley Byrne, senior campaigner for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in Washington, D.C.