Now, I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I don’t really follow sports. But this is Super Bowl weekend, and one just cannot escape it. So here are some Super Bowl observations noted from the lunchtime newsreading:
- From the “Protecting a Brand, Part I” Department: The St. Louis Paper has a very nice article on A-B advertising for the Super Bowl, including how this year’s advertising will include a fable about how one Clydesdale came to America. At first, the horse struggles to find his way. But he perseveres and finds his true calling, paving the way for future generations. Along the way there is comedy and pathos. The immigrant horse would come over on the boat from Scotland, just like the huddled masses. (And a little bit like brewery patriarch Adolphus Busch, a German immigrant who came to St. Louis in 1857.) The horse would struggle to make his way. He would “try his hoof” at racing, but would be too slow. He would be too strong to move pianos. He would be bewildered in the big city, humiliated by little indignities — flowers in his mane, face covered by a girly pink mask — until he finds the job he was made for. Oh, and you should buy beer and not fear In-Bev, the new corporate overlords. They care about tradition. Of course, some are worried about how long A-B will keep up the tradition of shelling out the Super Bowl advertising bucks. A-B currently has 4½ minutes of advertising this year.
- From the “That American Tradition,
FootballAdvertising” Department: Although spending is down on other forms of advertising, prompting infomercials to run even during prime time, companies are still spending big on the Super Bowl. Well, at least some are. Some, such as FedEx and GM, have pulled out. But the big ads are still there, with some paying up to $3M for 30 seconds. This year there will be 3-D ads (including a 90-second commercial for Dreamworks’ “Monsters vs. Aliens”), and tire commercials that feature Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head taking a drive…, and of course A-B’s ubiquitous ads. Will the spending be there next year? Unknown. Most of this year’s buys were made before the October crash. - From the “Protecting a Brand, Part II” Department: Of course, Super Bowl Sunday is all about dignity and style. We saw that with Janet Jackson a few years ago. One thing we won’t be seeing this year is the PPV Lingerie Bowl. It has been cancelled, for various reasons. The first is that they couldn’t find a good location: when the organizers couldn’t obtain the proper permits to stage their event in a West Tampa vacant lot, they opted for a place called Caliente, which bills itself as the most luxurious of the dozen “clothing-optional” resorts that allow Pasco County to call itself “the nudist capital of the world.” The models in the bowl, however, refused to play there, citing either fears about having to “blend in” with the locals, or that it would be degrading to play football in their lingerie in a nudist camp (they did, after all, have their standards). As for the host site, Caliente was excited about the event until promoters suggested the locals there would need to dress, which they aren’t about to do. As a result, it appears the event is cancelled. But don’t worry. There are plenty of alternative locations with similar scenery hosting Super Bowl parties.
- From the “Alternative Programming” Department: Not to worry, non-football fans. Animal Planet is bringing back its highly rated counterprogramming: Puppy Bowl V, with the Kitten-half-time show. [insert your puns here]. I’ve actually watched this some years — it is sickenly cute, but then again, <disgustingly-cute-voice>puppies</disgustingly-cute-voice>.
Me? I could care less about the Super Bowl. I am, however, interested in a program that will air after it out here in Los Angeles: A 1 hour special on KNBC’s 60th Anniversary of Broadcasting in Los Angeles. The TIVO is already set.