Today would have been National Gorilla Suit Day, however, last November, mark_evanier indicated that Don Martin’s widow had asked him not to mention him or his holiday. So, in celebration of the fact that today is Not National Gorilla Suit Day, please do not wear your gorilla suit. Keep it in the closet for another holiday.
However, do remember that not all gorilla suits look like gorilla suits, and although you might dress up a monkey, at heart, he’s still a
chimp monkey. I’m sure we were all reminded of this earlier this week with the unimpressive State of the Union address. And so, in honor of chimps monkeys in suits everywhere, we present this song from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels:
|Dress up a monkey in Armani,
He may seem precocious and cute.
Despite all that primpin’,
You still got a chimp in
Teach him the second Verse of “Swanee”
Shprizt him ’til wet
Dampen him well
|Take him to see Don Giovanni,
Show him Cezanne’s lovely fruit,
Teach him to cook from Escoffier’s book,
He’s still a gorilla en croute
You still got a chimp in a suit.
So you’ve shaved off his fur,
Give him a dandy little topper,
And a cheap little hat!