Birthday Wishes for elasticity and …

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and, but wait… he’s wearing sunglasses, and swaying back and forth. He pulls out his 88-key accordion, and says, “This one’s for you, elasticity, who was chosen to be born on a really great day”. He starts singing…

You know it doesn’t make much sense There ought to be a law against Anyone who takes offense At a day in your celebration Cause we all know in our minds That there ought to be a time That we can set aside To show just how much we love you And I’m sure you would agree It couldn’t fit more perfectly Than to have a world party on the day you came to be Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday I just never understood How a man who died for good Could not have a day that would Be set aside for his recognition Because it should never be Just because some cannot see The dream as clear as he that they should make it become an illusion And we all know everything That he stood for time will bring For in peace our hearts will sing Thanks to Martin Luther King Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday

Why has there never been a holiday Where peace is celebrated all throughout the world The time is overdue For people like me and you Who know the way to truth Is love and unity to all God’s children It should never be a great event And the whole day should be spent In full remembrance Of those who lived and died for the oneness of all people So let us all begin We know that love can win Let it out don’t hold it in Sing it loud as you can Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday Happy birthday Ooh yeah Happy birthday… We know the key to unify all people Is in the dream that you had so long ago That lives in all of the hearts of people That believe in unity We’ll make the dream become a reality I know we will Because our hearts tell us so

[“Happy Birthday“, Stevie Wonder, 1980]

The Sheriff starts to walk off-stage, but then adds…

For those that clicked through, yes, it is cahwyguy‘s birthday also. As such, I owe him a song as well. As Tom Paxton says, when you reach a certain age, a computer somewhere spits out a card in a basement, and suddenly, a magazine appears at your doorstep. They no longer appear to call the magazine this (yes, we’re actually members), but the sentiment is still there:

So when you find it in your mailbox for the first time my friend You can tell that you getting older, you’re turning grey It’s a first sign of decline, it’s a start of the end When your wrinkles out number your hairs then it’s headed your way Chorus Modern Maturity, means you’re getting old When you get the magazine that you hide from your friends Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill Now Modern Maturity means over the hill When Mick Jagger has his breakfast of yogurt and bran Does he read of prescriptions by mail or of self-rising chairs You can keep on rockin’ and rollin’ as long as you can But then you sit in your little seat and you ride up the stairs (chorus: Modern Maturity…)

I’ve looked through its pages and what I see there Is that everyone looks about twenty-five with white hair You can buy polyester pants for nineteen ninety-five You can get your grandchildren’s picture on your coffee cup And if you’re tired of walking there’s a scooter that you can drive Or a button to push if you’ve fallen and you can’t get up (chorus: Modern Maturity…)

MODERN MATURITY (Tom Paxton)
Copyright (c) 1993 Pax Music (ASCAP)

Then again, aging well is better than the alternative. I discovered the following song recently when my iPod sang it to me:

I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I’d rather be dead than wet my bed I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I said dead than wet my bed Oh, I’d rather be gone–Than carry on I’d rather go away–Than feel this way Oh, I’d rather be there–Where you haven’t got a care And you’re better off dead–Though it doesn’t seem fair Oh, I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I’d rather be dead than wet than wet my bed I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I’d rather be dead than wet than wet my bed

I’d rather keep my health–and dress myself But you’re better off dead than sitting on a shelf I’ll tie my tie ’till the day I die But if I have to be fed then I’d rather be dead And when he takes my hand on the very last day I will understand because it’s better that way Oh! It’s nice to be alive–When the dream comes true You’ll be better off dead–It could happen to you Oh! I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I’d rather be dead than wet my bed I’d rather be dead–I’d rather be dead I’d rather be dead than wet than wet my bed

I’d Rather Be Dead (Harry Nilsson)

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll. I’ll note the new poll will be out in February, so feel free to suggest new songs as well. Oh, and if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your profile, and it is visible to your friends]