Some observations while perusing the papers at lunch:
- From the “Don’t Try This At Home” Department: The San Francisco Chronicle is reporting about rookie cop who accidentally shot himself to death while displaying for a female friend how officers are taught to avoid having their guns used against them. According to those familiar with the incident, the 23 year-old officer (James Gustafson Jr.) was showing his Police Department-issued semiautomatic pistol after removing the clip that stores the rounds. He explained that there are ways an officer can disable a weapon in close proximity to keep it from being fired. Gustafson pointed the weapon at his neck and pulled the trigger. However, there was still a bullet in the chamber… and the result was easily predictable.
Life Lesson #1: Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.
- From the “They Don’t Call It Whole Paycheck for Nuttin’” Department: The Nashville Tenessean (via AP) is reporting that federal regulators let out a little more information than they thought when they released some Acrobat documents on the Whole Paycheck/Wild Oats merger. The documents revealed that Whole Foods plans to close 30 or more Wild Oats stores, a move that may nearly double revenue for some Whole Foods stores. Whole Foods also negotiates with suppliers to drive up costs for Wal-Mart Stores Inc. Makes one pine for the days of Mrs. Gooch’s. By the way, the corporate secrets were revealed because federal regulators redacted the words by just electronically shading them black. We all know how well that works The words could be still be searched, copied, pasted and read in versions downloaded from court computer servers. They’ve corrected this by uploading scans, so you can’t search them at all.
Life Lesson #2: Just because you cover it in black doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
Life Lesson #3: What’s good for you isn’t necessarily good for the neighborhood.
- From the “Third Time’s The Charm” Department: The Daily Breeze is reporting that the Queen Mary luxury liner, docked for years and years in Long Beach, has a new owner, Save the Queen. This investor group plans to make the site a theme resort, not unlike Universal City Walk in Los Angeles. Of course, those of us familiar with the story know that there have been many, many plans for the Queen (including some from Disney), but they’ve never been super successful. Will this one succeed? I’m not sure a CityWalk in a port town works. Perhaps they just need to bring back the Pike… and turn the Queen Mary into a clone of a successful Queen Mary.
Life Lesson #4: Those who do not learn from history are doomed to lose their investment.
- From the “Celebrities Under Surveillance” Department: The Daily Breeze is also reporting that Reggie the Alligator, a former resident of the San Pedro area, keeps escaping his exhibit space at the LA Zoo. But not to worry. Zoo officials have placed Reggie under 24-hour surveillance. We’ve all seen how effective surveillance is for Lindsey and Britney.
Life Lesson #5: There’s a difference between observing stupidity and stopping stupidity.
See, who needs a teacher in space when you have me, your teacher in cyberspace?