UnBirthday Wishes for satyrlovesong

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform walks out and introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says, “Today we’re celebrating the unbirthday of the delightful satyrlovesong.” He clears his throat, and starts singing:

A very merry unbirthday
To me
To who?
To me
Oh, you

A very merry unbirthday
To you
Who, me?
To you
Oh, me

Let’s all congrulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you

      Now statistics prove
Prove that you’ve one birthday
Imagine just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays
Preciselywhy we’re gathered here to cheer

A very merry unbirthday
To me?
To you
A very merry unbirthday
For me?
For you
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true
A very merry unbirthday to you

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for mommyathome

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out accordian. He takes a minute to tune it up (how do you tune an accordian anyway), and starts singing Birthday by Bjork and the Sugarcubes (video), for mommyathome:

She lives in this house over there
Has her world outside it
Scrapples in the earth with her fingers and her mouth
She’s five years old

Thread worms on a string
Keeps spiders in her pocket
Collects fly wings in a jar
Scrubs horse flies
And pinches them on a line
Ohhh…

She has one friend, he lives next door
They’re listenening to the weather
He knows how many freckles she’s got
She scratches his beard

      She’s painting huge books
And glues them together
They saw a big raven
It glided down the sky
She touched it
Ohh…

Today is a birthday
They’re smoking cigars
He’s got a chain of flowers
And sows a bird in her knickers
Ohhh…

They’re smoking cigars
They lie in the bathtub
A chain of … flowers

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for zarchasmpgmr

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a sombrero, strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says, “This morning, we have a special request. This is a traditional Mexican birthday song that is often sung at birthday parties, anniversaries, and serenatas. Today, we present Las Mañanitas (music here) for zarchasmpgmr.” He clears his throat, a bell note is heard, and he starts singing:

Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David
Hoy por ser día de tu santo te las cantamos aquí.
Despierta mi bien despierta
Mira que ya amaneció
Ya los pajaritos cantan
La luna ya se metió.

¡Qué linda está la mañana hoy que vengo a saludarte
Venimos todos con gusto y placer a felicitarte!
El día en que tú naciste, nacieron todas las flores
En la pila del bautizmo cantaron los ruiseñores.
Ya viene amaneciendo ya la luz que ya Dios dió.
Levantarse de la mañana, mira que ya amaneció.

    De las estrellas del cielo tengo que bajarte dos,
Una para saludarte, otra para decirte adiós.
Volaron cuatro palomas por toditas las ciudades
hoy por ser día de tu santo te deseamos felicidades.
Con rácimos de flores hoy te vengo a saludar.
Y hoy por ser día de tu santo te venimos a cantar.

What is Las Mañanitas? It is a children’s song, poetically translated as: “These are the lovely mañanitas that were sung by King David. Today we sing them to a loved one who will be happy. Wake up this early morning and the sun you will see. As the moon leaves us this morning, all the birds they will sing. How beautiful is the morning that I come to share with you. We all come in celebration of this special day just for you. The day, it is a dawning and the light of day has come. Awaken early this morning to see all that we have done.”

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for rjlippincott

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a bright green silk uniform (with antique military buttons) strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, puts on a pair of oval wire-rim glasses, picks up an electric guitar, and starts singing Birthday for :

You say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too–yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party.

    I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birthday
Dance

I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birhtday

You say it’s your birthday
Well it’s my birthday too–yeah
You say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for bdot

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a sombrero, strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says, “This morning, we have a special request. This is a traditional Mexican birthday song that is often sung at birthday parties, anniversaries, and serenatas. Today, we present Las Mañanitas (music here) for bdot.” He clears his throat, a bell note is heard, and he starts singing:

Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el rey David
Hoy por ser día de tu santo te las cantamos aquí.
Despierta mi bien despierta
Mira que ya amaneció
Ya los pajaritos cantan
La luna ya se metió.

¡Qué linda está la mañana hoy que vengo a saludarte
Venimos todos con gusto y placer a felicitarte!
El día en que tú naciste, nacieron todas las flores
En la pila del bautizmo cantaron los ruiseñores.
Ya viene amaneciendo ya la luz que ya Dios dió.
Levantarse de la mañana, mira que ya amaneció.

    De las estrellas del cielo tengo que bajarte dos,
Una para saludarte, otra para decirte adiós.
Volaron cuatro palomas por toditas las ciudades
hoy por ser día de tu santo te deseamos felicidades.
Con rácimos de flores hoy te vengo a saludar.
Y hoy por ser día de tu santo te venimos a cantar.

What is Las Mañanitas? It is a children’s song, poetically translated as: “These are the lovely mañanitas that were sung by King David. Today we sing them to a loved one who will be happy. Wake up this early morning and the sun you will see. As the moon leaves us this morning, all the birds they will sing. How beautiful is the morning that I come to share with you. We all come in celebration of this special day just for you. The day, it is a dawning and the light of day has come. Awaken early this morning to see all that we have done.”

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for talonvaki

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his electric guitar. He plugs it into the amp, and starts singing today’s birthday song for talonvaki:

Allright, Ralph…happy birthday…you freak…
You’re breakin’ hearts and you’re breakin’ guitars
Today’s your birthday and you don’t even know how old you are
You’re in love with every woman from tyler
You went swimming in the ocean with my goddamn dialer
You used to be fat, I think then I liked you best
‘Cuz now you’re skinny, I’m chubby,
And you make fun of my breasts
And I’m sorry, but this may sound weird
But you gotta do something ’bout the food in your beard

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fuckin’ disgusting
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fuckin’ disgusting

You can’t wear your bike hat because of your hair
Wherever you go, you break everything everywhere
This year, sixth gear, now get on your way
(Shut off the stereo chorus, and the digital delay.)

      Some people, they think, they think you’re
Rhastafarian
And they ask you for pot
I think I like it, I know I like it
I like it a lot because, because it pisses you off
So for your birthday
I got you some hawaiian punch on tap
Age p.o.t.
So now you can stop borrowing my stuff
And trying your new Kung Fu moves out on me

Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fuckin’ disgusting
Happy birthday, Ralph
I love you
Even though you are fuckin’ disgusting

You can’t wear your bike hat because of your hair
Wherever you go, you break everything everywhere
This year, sixth gear, now get on your way
(Shut off the stereo chorus, and the digital delay.)

Happy birthday, Ralph, I love you
Even though you have a beard (are fuckin’)
Happy birthday, Ralph, I love you
Even though you are perverted and weird

Happy birthday, Ralph, I love you

The Sheriff looks mildly disturbed after singing this, and walks off the set, mumbling to himself “kids and their music these days…”

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for darkfuzzyheart and kethraj

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his accordion, and then starts singing the Birthday Cake Polka for darkfuzzyheart and kethraj:

Put another candle on my birthday cake
We’re gonna bake a birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

I’m gonna have a party with my birthday cake
Come on and take some birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

    We’ll have some pie and sandwiches
And chocolate ice cream too
We’ll sing and play the day away
And one more thing I’m gonna do

I’ll blow out the candles on my birthday cake
And when I do, a wish I’ll make
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

Happy Birthday to You
You’re another year old today.

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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Birthday Wishes for kerinda and klellingson

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says: “This one is for you, kerinda. He pulls out his accordion, and starts singing the Birthday Cake Polka:

Put another candle on my birthday cake
We’re gonna bake a birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

I’m gonna have a party with my birthday cake
Come on and take some birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

    We’ll have some pie and sandwiches
And chocolate ice cream too
We’ll sing and play the day away
And one more thing I’m gonna do

I’ll blow out the candles on my birthday cake
And when I do, a wish I’ll make
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

Happy Birthday to You
You’re another year old today.

He then turns to another child in the audience, and says, “I also understand it is klellingson‘s birthday. He’s made a special request for a round. So, those of you on the right, you’re in the “A” group. Those of you in the middle, you’re the “B” group. Those of you on the left, you’re the “C” group. Alright, “A” group, you start, followed by the “B”s and the “C”s. He plucks an “A” note, and sings:

We wish you a happy birthday
A joyous and celebrated birthday
For you Dear klellingson
We wish you a long long life

[Yes, it’s here. The 3rd Annual Birthday Poll. So, if you want to make sure that the Sheriff sings the song you want, please fill out the poll.]

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