[Meme snarfed from satyrlovesong]
- Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
- I’ll reply and give you five questions to answer.
- You’ll update your LJ with the five questions answered.
- You’ll include this explanation.
- You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
And it just keeps going, and going, and going (hopefully!)
satyrlovesong‘s Interview:
Questions:
- You’ve mentioned that your faith and community are very important to you. How would you feel if S&F brought home a life companion of a different faith?
- What language would you most like to learn, and why?
- What is your favorite type of ice cream?
- What sort of natural disaster would be most thrilling/frightening foryou?
- How do you define marriage?
Answers:
- You’ve mentioned that your faith and community are very important to you. How would you feel if S&F brought home a life companion of a different faith?
First, note that in Judaism, religion is nominally through matrilineal descent. Thus, according to traditional views, any of S&F’s children would be Jewish. But to me, that’s insufficient. In order for a child to be raised with a strong sense of Jewish identity, there needs to be such identity in the home. Hopefully, I’m raising S&F with a strong identity, through religious school, home observance, and Jewish summer camp. Ideally, when she establishes her own household, it will be Jewish.
I know this doesn’t answer the question. I’m getting there.
So, how would I feel if she brought home a life companion of a different faith? Although I wouldn’t prohibit it, or declare her dead, or anything drastic like that, I would strongly caution against it. Why? Simple: Couples in new relationships have plenty of differences to work out. Some are easier to work out than others. Religion, which is a strong cultural identifier, can create inherent conflicts: What holidays are celebrated? At whose house? What religious items go on display? How are children to be raised? What are the shared values? What are the shared morals? For a long lasting marriage, these need to be compatible. So, if after I identified all these potential problems, and she still insisted on the relationship (which she would, being stubborn), I would advise her to talk to a counselor, and to set up a shared household before making the legal commitment. I would recommend to her books to read on how to make such a relationship work. I would insist that particular issues be worked out beforehand, so she didn’t have to deal with a divorce, especially with children involved. Divorce, hell. Actually, knowing her temper, I wouldn’t want to have to clean up the blood.
- What language would you most like to learn, and why?
Hebrew. I learned rudaments of it in religious school, but I didn’t like the language and never really learned to read or translate it. I can do stuff by rote. One of these days, I would like to learn the language.
- What is your favorite type of ice cream?
Oh, a hard question. Let’s do the snide answer first: the good extra rich kind. None of this low-fat, tasteless garbage. If I’m going to put it in my body, I want the good stuff.
Oh, you mean flavour. I go through phases where I prefer stuff like Cherry Garcia, Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, Chocolate Chocolate Chip, but I think if I had to pick one flavor, it would likely be good old Chocolate Chip.
- What sort of natural disaster would be most thrilling/frightening foryou?
None. I’m the type that craves order and knowing what will happen. I’m a great person to depend on for day to day stuff. In a crisis, I fall apart. [As an aside, this is one of the reasons why my marriage works so well: gf_guruilla is not the greatest on day to day, but when a crisis happens, she knows exactly what to do and makes sure it gets done.]
So, I guess if I had to pick a disaster, it would likely be a blizzard. I think that would be the one in which it would be the easiest to maintain control. I don’t like hurricanes or tornados: you don’t know where your stuff is. Brush fires are a big fear of mine, having grown up in the canyons in the Santa Monica Mountains. Earthquakes only bother me in their unpredictability and the amount of damage that might occur. At least you know where your stuff is with earthquakes.
[Edit: I just realized I didn’t really answer the question: The most frightening would either be fire or tornado. You could likely combine them into a volcanic eruption!]
- How do you define marriage?
Commitment. You are making a commitment to the other person to be there when they need you, and they are making the commitment to do the same. This is a financial, emotional, sexual, complete commitment. It is also a commitment not to hurt or injure the other person (in the same types of categories), but also to be firm when necessary (“tough love”). This is why I believe that sexual orientation shouldn’t come into play: two individuals (or more, if you can work it out and everyone agrees) can certainly make such a commitment.
In short, the “golden rule” applies especially when that gold ring is on your finger.
