I knew that title would get your attention. As you probably guessed, I’m not writing about Judaism or Men’s Club issues here. Instead, I’m writing about everyone’s favorite subjects (especially opera singers): porn and sex. A number of articles in the papers of late have all themed together regarding this:
- Oh, Superman, You Saved Me. As Avenue Q told us, “The Internet is for Porn”. However, while it has made porn more accessible to the average Joe and Jane, it has been bad news for the industry at large. But they have a savior: Superhero parodies may be saving the Porn industry. According to the AP, parodies, once a cheaply filmed niche segment of the adult movie market, are big business these days — filled with expensive special effects, real story lines, actors who can (sometimes) actually act and costumes that even comic-book geeks find authentic. Not that the costumes stay on for long, mind you. How are they getting away with it without being sued by DC or Marvel? For years the courts have ruled that parodies, like other forms of speech, are protected by the First Amendment. According to an executive with Vivid Group, they are topped only in sales by… celebrity sex tapes. Sigh.
- And What Do You Use The Cone For. However, some parodies don’t fly. Caballero Video has settled with the makers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream over their use of B&J ice cream flavor names as Porn titles. The company will comply with a court order to not sell products including the 10 titles in its “Ben & Cherry’s” series, including “Boston Cream Thigh” and “Peanut Butter D-Cups.”
- You Won’t Find *This* In The Bookstore. The Armed Forces Exchange (basically, the folks who operate base exchanges) have decided to stop selling adult magazines. The reason has nothing to do with their content — it is pure economics that is leading AAFES to no longer carry 891 magazines including Playboy, Penthouse, American Curves and Tattoo. Why are they doing it? The Internet has led to a massive decrease in the demand for print publications, as evidenced by the fact that sales of “adult sophisticate titles” at AAFES stores have plummeted 86% since 1998. As an AAFES spokesperson said, “Magazine sales are on a sustained downward trajectory due to the proliferation of digital delivery.” Other titles being “whacked” include the Saturday Evening Post and SpongeBob Comic. This comes on the heels of a decision that such magazines can be sold in the PX/BXs, because they do not meet the definition of indecent material under federal law.
- Porn vs. Real Sex. This one has been going around this week – a You-Tube video that explains the different between Porn Sex and Real Sex…. using food. Images are safe for work, but the dialogue a little less so. The video basically points out — using food images — that what is often portrayed as “real” and even “amateur” is actually unrealistic and not representative. This is a good point to make; I hope most people prefer what is real to the unrealistic world portrayed by the Adult Film industry. Also going — but definitely neither porn nor even titillating — is a wonderful “Camp Gyno” video. This is a much more realistic ad for “feminine hygene” products that has just won people over by its straightforward charm.
- Gluten Intolerance and Sex Addicts. There, that really got your attention. There’s a wonderful opinion piece in the SF Chronicle titled “Attack of the gluten intolerant sex addicts”. The point of the article is about manufactured conditions — just like many following the current gluten intolerance fad really aren’t gluten intolerant*, there are reports out that sex addiction really isn’t a disease. Translation: You’re not sick if you continuously want to watch Internet Porn — you’re just like everyone else. That’s supposed to comfort us, I suppose. Still, the article itself is quite cleverly written, including paragraphs such as “Hell, Big Pharma and Monsanto, Chevron and the Republican Party et al certainly do not, on any level, have your best interest, your health, or the health of your children at heart. No one anywhere doubts that these breeds of demons – chemical, religious, political – exist, and will spare no expense to keep you ill, so that you will continue to blindly buy, and believe, and never dare to question.” Now that I can agree with!
[*: This is not to take anything away from those that are really intolerant or have Celiac Disease — rather, the “fad” approach often means that those who don’t understand true gluten-free cooking are pretending, and those that can really get sick are the ones who are suffering]