Do you want a demonstration of a dysfunctional family? Just go to a temple board meeting.
In early 2003, I went to the UAHC (now URJ) Regional Biennial. Rabbi Lennard Thal gave an excellent speech (which I urge you all to go read) on things a Temple president should remember. Some gems from that speech include:
- And speaking of Exodus, we would do well to recall the famous midrashic passage associated with Nachshon as the Israelites were being pursued by the Egyptians: “[As the Israelites hesitated and began arguing amongst themselves], this one said ‘I’m not going into the water!’ And that one said, ‘I won’t go in until you will!’ While they were arguing, Nachshon, son of Aminadav, jumped in first.” And while we would do well to remember THAT passage, we would do even better if we also recalled the opening verses of the Book of Numbers, when the leading representative of each tribe is identified. Eleven of the twelve have one of the names for God incorporated into their own names, e.g., “Eli Tsur” or “Elishama” – and yet none of those eleven play any meaningful role anywhere else in Torah. Who is the twelfth? That same Nachshon – no fancy name with theological significance for him! What do we infer from this? That neither the office one holds nor the title one might have confer REAL authority and influence. Real authority and influence emerge from and reflect one’s actions and one’s level of menschlichkeit.
- Parker Palmer also reminds us that some leaders have been too much affected by our culture’s denial of death – in institutions, as elsewhere, we just don’t like to acknowledge that some things need to end. As he once put it, “Projects and programs that should have been [buried] … years ago are still on a life-support system even though they’ve been in a coma for decades.” Of course, the corollary is that allowing certain congregational programs to die just might enable something more valuable, more relevant, and more stimulating to come to life.
- Avoid measuring success only in terms of numbers. Counting the house, comparing the number of new members this year to a year ago, crowing (or complaining) about the size of the budget – all may be important but you know and I know that there are better criteria by which to measure congregational success or failure.
- Think about what you convey, intentionally or not, to the other trustees on the temple board about a leader’s responsibility to be a Jewish role model for rank and file congregants. Example: the president of a 250-member congregation in Southern California, toward the end of her term, gave a copy of Heschel’s “The Sabbath” to each trustee with whom she had served. Imagine the reaction, and think about the underlying message.
I just got home from three hours of a Temple Board meeting. A group of 17-18 people, charged with ensuring the future of a very small congregation. Observing the meeting, I kept seeing petty resentments bubbling up and coloring actions. Except for one point, I didn’t see people working together. Sigh. Would that I could go into details, but there are guidelines related to proper speech.
I really am beginning to understand what I included above as Rabbi Thal’s 2nd bullet, about knowing when to let something die.
Suffice it to say that I just echo the sentiment of our outgoing Treasurer as we were leaving, when he turned to me and said “one to go”.
I’ll end this evening with a wonderful reminder from Rabbi Thal: I choose to heed words of advice Rabbi Harold Saperstein—of blessed memory—once gave his son David: “If you want to be seen, stand up tall; if you want to be heard, speak up nice and loud; and if you want to be liked, be quiet and sit down!”
