[Want your own rant? See the Rant Meme: http://cahwyguy.livejournal.com/1029809.html This rant is for whalejudge, who wanted a rant on “Teenagers”, but this can’t be rant on how they don’t respect adults, as jumbach requested that. Remember: the rant meme is a great creative writing exercise. Just follow the instructions and post it to your own journal.]
[He walks out, with a soapbox. He sets it on the ground. He climbs up on it, and speaks…]
When you become a parent, all your friends give you the same advice. Watch out for the “Terrible Twos”. They then walk away chuckling. There’s a reason for that. They know that two-year-olds are easy compared to teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard the line: God made babies cute and cuddly so you want to keep them when they cry all night. God made teenagers the way they are so you want them to move out after high school. Look at the news about Abby Sunderland. All these folks are saying that Lawrence Sunderland shouldn’t have let his daughter go sailing around the world alone. Let me let you in on the real reason he did it: she’s a 15 year old teen age girl. Is it any wonder he wanted the peace and quiet the comes from having her on the other side of the world!
So, what’s so wrong about teens? They’re just little adults. As Bill Cosby used to say in his comedy routines, “……right”. They just look like little adults. But they crack under the pressure.
Let me explain. Take a teen that’s in high school. One of two things will happen: either they will be a slacker, and make your life a living hell by not doing anything and making you believe you will have to pay to feed and clothe them all of their lives… or they will be an overachiever. You know the type: they take four AP classes in 10th grade, and 6 in 11th. They have so many extra-curricular activities they have no time to do chores. Of course, they can’t drive, so you drive them everywhere. How do they respond to this pressure? They whine at you for not treating them right. Of course, they then get the good grades and expect you to pay for them to go for 10 years of college.
But lack of respect for their parents is just one problem, and I’ll go into that in another post. There’s also the opposite sex.
Remember when we were teens, and had to walk in the snow 30 miles to get to the beach? Remember how we juggled multiple boy/girl friends, and nothing was serious? Forget that. Today, they find their one true love, and when dumped, take it out on the most convenient target. Yup, you guessed it. Still think two year olds are easy? They just say, “no”.
But, of course, you can’t talk to your teen. Conversations are dead in this day and age. No one talks on the phone for hours. Remember the Telephone song from “Bye Bye Birdie”? Wouldn’t happen today. You would have a square of teens, all busily typing away on their cellphones or on Facebook. Who needs words and proper spelling when LOL works so well. Why pass notes in class when you can text. Dating today is going to a restaurant and texting each other. Or should I say sexting.
Where do they get these technological toys today? That’s right: mom and dad. For in today’s economy, the teen doesn’t get the job. The local McDonalds is filled with ex-Bear Stearns executives. Folks from Countrywide Mortgage ask you if you want fries with that. No one hires teens to give them spending money.
The teenager that we grew up with—the teen from Happy Days or the Brady Bunch—is a television myth. They are all just older Bart Simpsons. As for us parents, even though they are teens, we still love them and are there for them. That’s what it says in the parent contract.
Disclaimer: This is a rant. It has no resemblance to reality, even though I’m the father of a 15½ year old teen who is about to start learning to drive. My daughter is the perfect child.
…… right.
[He carefully climbs off the soapbox. He picks it up, and walks offstage.]
