(meme) What Does Daniel Need?

Snarfed from a number of folks, most recently from mortuus. The basic idea is you enter the phrase “(yourname) needs” (after making suitable systematic substitutions, and retaining the quotes) into Google. Post the most humorous or appropriate top 10 (or 15 or 20) results. Hilarity ensues.

I decided this was best as a poll:

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