I haven’t done a new chum in a while, but today’s looks to be quite tasty:
- From the “I’ll Take One of These and Two of Those” Department: Wondering where to spend your economic stimulus. Visit a brothel. The LVRJ is reporting that some brothels are offering economic stimulus specials, where they will match your stimulus to provide you with more stimulus. As Dennis Hof, proprietor of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch near Carson City says: “What are you going to do, take you stimulus check to Wal-Mart? That money is going back to China. Give it to the hookers, and it will go to tattoo parlors and beer and massage therapists and hair stylists and manicurists. We’re keeping the money in America.” Other brothels are offering gas cards based on the amount spent, but that’s much less that the stimulus package.
[Tip O’The Hat to jumbach for this item.] - From the “Oh Yeah? I have an iPhone, and I’ll shove it where the sun doesn’t shine!” Department: Remember the recent reports about bumper stickers indicating more agressive drivers. That’s not the only thing. Obsessive gadget buyers (i.e., the folks that always need the latest and greatest toys) are seen as assertive and possibly arrogant. An online study evaluating the characteristics of 25,000 American adults found avid technology consumers tended to score highly in personality traits such as leadership, dynamism and assertiveness — but low in modesty. Supposedly these results could have implications for technology companies looking to attract a new set of consumers and even potentially impact the way such products are designed.
- From the “Oh Sure, That Helps” Department: The economy is bad. Homes are facing foreclosure because people can’t pay their mortgages. High fuel prices are gouging our wallets. Drivers of expensive cars are turning to regular. You pay a fee to check luggage that the airline is only going to lose (I mean, if I’m going to pay a fee at least you can guarantee I’ll receive it on the other end). So what do banks do to help us? They raise mortgage rates. They raise overdraft fees and attempt to come up with more ways to trigger them. Sometimes one wonders if the intense drive for profit and return for shareholders is really good for the country overall. It is, after all, one thing that led to this mess in the first place.
- From the “Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t” Department: Trying to be green and use recycled fixtures, doors, etc. There’s one big gotcha. Most building codes don’t permit it. Are we legislating ourselves deeper into the holes?
- From the “It must be a Java problem” Department: Coffee machine not working. Could be a Distributed Denial of Coffee attack. What’s next? A denial of Coca-Cola attack?
[Tip O’the Hat to cut_the_chatter for the lede.]
