Well, the dreaded letter came to our house a few weeks ago. You know the one: the one you get when a large advocacy group gets your name, and says “We hear you’re soon to be one of us. Do you want to join?” I showed it to my wife, and asked her what she wanted to do (because they addressed it to her). She wanted to join, so I dutifully wrote the check and sent it in.
Today the membership package came.
We’re now AARP members. Sigh. All together now…
So when you find it in your mailbox for the first time my friend
You can tell that you getting older, you’re turning grey
It’s a first sign of decline, it’s a start of the end
When your wrinkles out number your hairs then it’s headed your way
Chorus
Modern Maturity, means you’re getting old
When you get the magazine that you hide from your friends
Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill
Now Modern Maturity means over the hill
When Mick Jagger has his breakfast of yogurt and bran
Does he read of prescriptions by mail or of self-rising chairs
You can keep on rockin’ and rollin’ as long as you can
But then you sit in your little seat and you ride up the stairs
(chorus: Modern Maturity…)
I’ve looked through its pages and what I see there
Is that everyone looks about twenty-five with white hair
You can buy polyester pants for nineteen ninety-five
You can get your grandchildren’s picture on your coffee cup
And if you’re tired of walking there’s a scooter that you can drive
Or a button to push if you’ve fallen and you can’t get up
(chorus: Modern Maturity…)
MODERN MATURITY (Tom Paxton) Copyright (c) 1993 Pax Music (ASCAP)
[Yes, this is a choice in the birthday poll.]
