Loops and Orphans

One of my hobbies is geneology. Recently, I’ve been integrating a GEDCOM (family tree data) file from a cousin, which is actually quite a bit of work. It involved using a GED file comparison, determining where there are differences, and bringing in the missing people or data. This brings in all sort of problems: different conventions for naming cities, different fields in a record, different naming conventions for missing names… all of which take time to correct. Further, sometimes this transfer can involve moving entire subtrees of ancestors and their spouses, or descendents and their spouses. That can create unintended problems, especially when people marry the sister of a spouse when the spouse dies, or brothers from one family marry sisters from another family. This suddenly can create large duplicate trees without your even realizing it. This happened Sunday, when suddenly a tree brought in 530 people… most of which were duplicates that I had to merge by hand.

A few days later, I think I’ve gotten all the duplicates and regularlized the database, except for place names. Back to the comparisons…


Food News Chum: Pizza as a Vegetable | Homemade Mustard | Celebrating French Toast

Thanksgiving is over, and you’re probably still stuffed from last Thursday (not me, tho, as we had a small Thanksgiving). So with food still on your mind, and in your refrigerators, here are a few food related items:

  • Pizza as a vegetable. I’m sure that by now you have heard Congress wants to make pizza a vegetable, and have had a good chuckle and some ire at Congress’ expense. The problem is, of course, is that the issue has been misrepresented by the media, and the real story is something very different. The LA Times gives a good summary here. Basically, there’s a new law that requires schools to provide students with more fresh vegetables, and to do this, they are defining minimal quantitites in each category of vegetable. The question was: Does the amount of tomato paste on a slice of pizza constitue a serving of vegetables for the “other vegetable” category? Lobbying by the manufacturers of frozen pizzas, as well as school boards faced with the cost of fresh vegetables, argued Congress into continuing the special treatment that tomato paste gets: specifically, an eighth of a cup of tomato paste is considered the nutritional equivalent of a half-cup serving of vegetables, since that’s how much tomato it takes to make it. Manufacturers and school boards are also fighting the requirement for whole grains, as those are also more expensive. Congress also wanted to limit the amount of starchy vegetables (read potatoes), but Senators Susan Collins (R-Maine) and Mark Udall (D-Colo.) from big potato-producing states joined with the National Potato Council to fight the limits on starchy vegetables. The upshot is that the bill that was signed prevents the USDA from limiting servings of starchy vegetables. It also slows the sodium reduction and challenges the USDA to come up with a more precise definition of the term “whole grain” before implementing rules about their use. So that’s the story behind “pizza is a vegetable”. ETA: Here’s another editorial on this.
  • Mustard as a Spice. I cannot stand peppers. The basic spice of bell peppers and hotter chilies doesn’t nothing positive for me; in fact, it usually causes indigestion. On the other hand, I loves me my mustards and horseradishes. So I read with interest an article that talks about how to make homemade mustards. This sounds like something worth trying at home!
  • Celebrating Freedom Toast. Today is National French Toast Day. Now, the interesting bit in the article is that French Toast doesn’t get its name from the country, but rather its creator. The earliest mention of the concoction was found in a collection of Latin recipes from the 4th century, and it’s even given some face time in one of the Brothers Grimm tales. In 1724, a tavern chef named Joseph French in Albany, New York, created his own American spin on this traditional meal and named it French toast, after himself, of course. Similarly, French Fries have nothing to do with the country across the channel, but the method of preparation.

Mrs. Robinson, I Think You’re Trying to Seduce Me

If I was to say to you, “Plastics, Benjamin”, you would likely think of a particular movie instantly. The same thing likely would occur with the line “Mrs. Robinson, I think you’re trying to seduce me” or if you heard the Simon and Garfunkel song, “Mrs. Robinson”. All of these reference the wonderful 1960s movie, “The Graduate“. This movie was adapted for the stage and had a successful run on Broadway with Kathleen Turner (the audio version was recently broadcast on KPCC/LA Theatre Works). Our favorite little theatre you probably didn’t know about, REP East, has recently opened its version of “The Graduate”, and I’m pleased to say that have done their usual excellent job with it.

You’re not familiar with the movie, you say? Well then, I’ll just have to summarize the story. Benjamin Braddock (24) has recently graduated from college and is unsure what to do with his life. At his graduation party, Mrs. Robinson, the wife of his father’s best friend comes on to him, but he rebuffs her. She asks him to drive her home, and once she gets home, she attempts to seduce him. This rapidly turns into a full blown affair. When Elaine Robinson, her daughter, comes home from Berkeley, Benjamin’s parents and Mr. Robinson set them up on a date. Mrs. Robinson objects, but Benjamin goes anyway. He is rapidly smitten, ends the affair, and pursues Elainse. The pot boils over when news of the affairs comes out, and, well, you’ll need to see the play to see the rest.

As you can tell, this play has adult themes. The director, Mikee Schwinn, has toned down the nudity a little for Santa Clarita audiences, but unless you’re familiar with the original, you probably won’t notice (basically, the shocker of the Kathleen Turner version was the amount of full-frontal nudity, and there is much less—but still some—in the REP version). However, the story itself is unchanged and is executed well. The performances themselves are very believable—you can easily see why the terms “Cougar” or “MILF” could have originated with this story.

The three lead performers are excellent. As Benjamin Braddock, Reid Gormly does a good job of portraying a fresh college grad who doesn’t know what he wants out of life, chasing the now. He falls into the affair, because it was there, and it likely seemed like a good idea at the time. This all comes across in Gormly’s performance. Playing his older foil, Jordana Capraæ is a woman who wants to be in control—to get what she wants—and she takes no prisoners along the way. However, when she is crossed there is trouble to pay. Lastly, as Elaine Robinson, Jessica Temple wonderfully portrays Elaine’s initial naivete, but by the end you realize that she’s got the same “take charge” attitude as her mother. All great.

In the second tier, we have Daniel McCann as Mr. Robinson, Harry Bennettæ as Mr. Braddock, and Laurie Morgan as Mrs. Braddock. These are smaller roles, but all the actors do well. In particular, McCann does a good job of portraying the hurt, cuckolded husband, and I particularly enjoyed Morgan portrayal of Benjamin’s mother in the earlier scenes. Lastly, Kevin Rhedin rounds out the cast in various small roles.

The set, constructed by O Michael Owston (the artistic director) manages to support a large number of different scenes in a very small space, with an upper bedroom area, a lower area that doubles as a wide variety of locals, and a bed that pushes out for more “in front” bedroom scenes. It could be improved by adding some curtains on the sides to shield the offstage area better. The lighting, by Tim Christianson, was excellent as usual. Steven “Nanook” Burkholder provided good sound effects, although the crowd noises could be lowered slightly. Vicki Lightner served as stage manager and coordinated the props.

The Graduate” continues at REP East until December 17. Tickets are available through the REP’s Online Box Office. Subscriptions for the 2012 season at the REP area now available ($230 for two tickets to every show, $120 for one, and $81 for a 5 show flex pass, with additional discounts for seniors and students). The 2012 season consists of: “Jewtopia” (January 20-February 25), “Journey’s End” (March 16-April 14), “The Great American Trailer Park Musical” (May 11-June 16), “The Laramie Project” (July 13-July 28), “Play Dates” (August 17-September 1), “Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure” (September 21-October 20), and “Moonlight and Magnolias” (November 16-December 15).

Upcoming Theatre, Concerts, and Dance: The first weekend of December brings “Lost and Unsung“, a celebration of music cut from musicals, at LA City College. The next weekend is busy, with a Mens Club Shabbat in the morning, and Travels with my Aunt” at the Colony Theatre in the evening. The end of December brings Fela!” at the Ahmanson Theatre (on 12/29). The remainder of December is unscheduled, but there is the de rigueur movie and Chinese food on Christmas day. January will bring the first show of the REP East season, as well as (hopefully) “Art” at the Pasadena Playhouse and “God of Carnage” at ICT Long Beach (ticketed for February 5). February will also bring “Ring of Fire” at Cabrillo Music Theatre, “Old Wicked Songs” at the Colony Theatre, and Bernadette Peters in concert at the Valley Performing Arts Center. As always, open dates are subject to be filled in with productions that have yet to appear on the RADAR of Goldstar or LA Stage Alliance.


A Musical So Energetic It Leaves You Exhausted

The theme for this week seem to be “pure entertainment”. Last weekend, we saw “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang“: a children’s story with a nonsensical plot that is wonderfully entertaining. Thanksgiving Day, we saw “The Muppets“, a movie designed to reintroduce wonderfully entertaining characters. Last night, we saw yet another super-entertaining show without deep thoughts: “Bring It On: The Musical” at the Ahmanson Theatre…. and it was entertaining. I haven’t seen a show fire-up an audience like this one did in a long, long time.

Bring It On: The Musical” is inspired by the 2000 Kirsten Dunst film of the same name, although the only similarity is that there are two high school teams, one from a rich white school and one from a mixed school that compete for the national championships. The musical version uses a libertto by Jeff Whitty, one of the authors of “Avenue Q“, that tells the story of the teams from Truman and Jackson High Schools. We are first introduced to the team from Truman High School, led by Campbell (Taylor Louderman), Skylar (Kate Rockwell), and Kylar (Janet Krupin). This is Campbell’s senior year, and she’s finally going to lead the team to the National Championships. They recruit to fill the team, rejecting the large-sized team mascot, Bridget (Ryann Redmond), and finding the spirited sophmore Eva (Elle McLemore), who is made sophmore captain. Just before school starts, Campbell finds out she has been redistricted to Jackson High (together with Bridget). Jackson High doesn’t have a cheer squad—it has a hip-hop dance team. At Jackson High, the hip-hop crew is led by Danielle (Adrienne Warren), together with her best friends Nautica (Arianan DeBose) and La Cienege, a transvestite (Gregory Haney). Campbell has trouble fitting in, but Bridget is accepted immediately due to her curves. Bridget and Campbell work their way onto the dance team. After learning that Eve is now captain of the Truman Team (Skylar flunked home ec, and Kylar suddenly came down with Mono) and has Campbell’s boyfriend, Campbell convinces Danielle to go to regionals and then to championships. I think you can guess how the plot goes from here, so I won’t give it away.

Intellectually, this story is…. light. It’s a high school musical, folks, about competing cheer teams. You don’t get a lot of depth from cheerleaders. That’s not to say there aren’t messages in the show: most notably, the messages of acceptance that Bridget finds, and the message about friendship that Campbell finds. Bridget goes from being the ostracized team mascot because her looks and behavior don’t fit the mold of the skinny white bitches at Truman to being a sexy figure whose individuality and dance is cherished at Jackson. Although this is a good message, it is also a bit stereotypical, implying that white kids are overly focused on thinness, and ethnic kids accept some junk in the trunk. Campbell’s message is different: she learns that winning the championships at all costs isn’t everything—the true value is the friends you make along the way and how you compete. In doing this she learns to accept the differences of her friends. Again, the stereotypical message for a story like this. However, they are also positive messages, and do get the audience going.

But it is a musical, you say… so how is the music. Reasonably good, although you don’t walk out of the theatre humming any tunes. The production features music by Tom Kitt (“Next to Normal”, “High Fidelity”) and Lin-Manuel Miranda (“In The Heights”), with lyrics by Amanda Green (“High Fidelity”) and Lin-Manuel Miranda. Most of the songs are high-energy numbers behind the cheer routines, and thus, non-traditional showsongs. The second acts features a few more traditional numbers, in particular a number sung by Natica and La CIenege to Bridget, encouraging to embrace her individuality and curves. That number works very well. I’ll note that I’ve read that there will eventually be a cast album from this show, which is a good thing (this is of particular significance because “Bring It On: The Musical. ” is not going to Broadway, although the tour is going almost everywhere else… and non-Broadway shows don’t always get cast albums). As we’re on the subject of music, I’ll note that arrangements and orchestrations were by Tom Kitt and Alex Lacamoire; Lacamoire also provided music supervision and dance arrangements. Michael Keller was the music coordinator, and Dave Pepin was the music director and conductor of the 7-piece orchestra (small, for the Ahmanson), featuring Pepin on keyboard, Andres Forero on drums, Joey Joseph on second keyboard, Josh Weinstein and Ralph Agresta on guitar, Ken Wild on Bass, and M. B. Gordy on percussion.

Turning to the cast: This is a very high-spirited cast of mostly newcomers. For many cast members, this is their first show—their main experience is cheerleading. This works to the show’s advantage: the cheer numbers are spot on and filled with youthful energy, and none of the actors bring in previous-show baggage. It is also a very young cast: although not all high-schoolers, I’d have to guess no one in the cast is over 25; there are certainly no “parent” roles or “adult” (i.e., non-teen) roles in the cast. Leading the spirited ensemble are Taylor Louderman (twitter) as Campbell and Adrienne Warren (twitter) as Danielle. Both are high energy, superb dancers and good at cheer, and portray their characters in a very realistic fashion. It was a delight to watch them, and I hope this propels them further.

In the second tier—but no less talented—are Ryann Redmond as Bridget and Elle McLemore as Eve. Redmond does a great job with Bridget—she brings joy and energy and vitality to the role. I was initially worried that her role would devolve into the stereotypical “fat girl”, but luckily it doesn’t and Redmond is one of the reasons. She’s a standout and deserves the applause she gets. McLemore’s role is a bit more of a characture of the scheming bitch, but she brings a lot of perky to the role. I could see McLemore eventually performing a number of roles similar to Kristen Chenowith: she has the same spirit and pop. Also in this tier are the lieutenant on each side: Kate Rockwell as Skylar and Janet Krupinas Kylar on the Truman side, and Ariana DeBose (Nautica) and Gregory Haney as La Cienega on the Jackson side. We see less of Rockwell and Krupin, but Rockwell plays the honest bitch role well, and Krupin is good as her underling. We see more of DeBose and Haney. In particular, Haney takes over any scene she (he) is in. The two work well together, and prove to not only be good actors, but great dancers.

If you’ve noticed, so far I haven’t mentioned any male roles. That’s because the “named” males have smaller roles. We’re introduced first to Steven (Neil Haskell), who plays the jock boyfriend of Campbell and later Eva. There’s not much depth to the role as written, but Haskell does what he can with it. On the Jackson side, there is Jason Gotay, who plays Randall (the non-cheer musician interested in Campbell), and Nicholas Womack, who plays Twig (the boy interested in Bridget). Again, lightly written roles, but these two do the best they can with these roles.

Rounding out the cast is a very talented ensemble of mostly newcomers, mostly seen before in cheer or otherwise involved with UCA (Universal Cheer Association). I’m marked the folks primarily involved with cheer with ♦, those in their professional debut with ◊. The remainder of the ensemble (additional roles noted) are: Calli Alden◊, Antwan Bethea♦◊, Dexter Carr◊, Courtney Corbeille♦◊, Brooklyn Alexis Freitag♦◊, Shonica Gooden, Haley Hannah, Rod Harrelson, Dominique Johnson (Cameron, Dance Captain), Melody Mills♦◊, Michael Mindlin (Cheer Camp Leader), Michael Naone-Carter◊, David Ranck♦, Bettis Richardson◊, Sheldon Tucker♦◊ and Lauren Whitt♦◊. Three performers are credited as soloists on songs; I didn’t recognize them singing, so they may have been in the background behind the cheer routines: Shonica Gooden on “Don’t Drop”; Nick Blaemire on “Cross the Line”, and Alysha Umphress on “Legendary”. Standbys and Swings were: Nikki Bohne (Standby for Campbell, Eve), Danielle Carlacci♦◊ (swing), Dahlston Delgado♦◊ (swing), Casey Jamerson (swing), Adrianna Parson (swing, assistant dance captain), and Billie Sue Roe♦◊ (swing).
The production was directed and choreographed by Andy Blankenbuehler, who did a good job with this talented crop of newcomers and making the most of the light material. The dance routines were also very strong—both the hip-hop and the cheer routines. Credit for this goes to Blankenbuehler, as well as Stephanie Klemons (Associate Choreographer), Jessica Columbo (Cheer Consultant), and Varsity (Cheerleading Consultant). Holly-Anne Ruggiero was the assistant director.

Turning to the technical… The set, by David Korins, was relatively simple: a number of video screens, some movable locker structures, a bedroom set, a “Burger Pagoda” set. Most of the locales were established by the videos, designed by Jeff Sugg. Lighting was more significant: there were movers and LED lights everywhere, and used to great effect both for mood and the “wow” factor. The lighting was designed by Jason Lyons. The sound, by Brian Ronan was loud but with no apparent problems; at times, it was difficult to understand lyrics, but that may have been more the music than the sound. The costumes, by Andrea Lauer were (to my eyes) quite representative of high school, but I’ll leave that to my daughter to judge. Hair and Wigs were by Charles G. Lapointe, and were both invisible and sturdy enough to hold up to the cheer routines. Bonnie Panson was Production Stage Manager, and Ryan J. Bell was Stage Manager (assisted by RL Campbell). Jake Bellwas Technical Supervisor, and Lisa Dawn Cave was Production Supervisor.

It is clear that “Bring It On: The Musical” is intended not for Broadway, but to have a long life as a high-school production, in the same vein as Disney’s High School Musical. Viewed in that light, this should be a very do-able production, if the school has a suitably talented cheer team and hip-hop squad. The sets don’t require the videos (they just provide the “pop”), and static sets might work well providing the transitions could be worked out. What makes this show is the dance, and if the school can pull it off, it should work well.

Bring It On: The Musical” continues at the Ahmanson Theatre until December 10. Tickets are available through the Ahmanson Box Office, and there’s a good chance Hottix are still available. Tickets may be available on Goldstar. After Los Angeles, the remainder of the “Bring It On: The Musical” tour itinerary is: San Francisco, CA (Dec. 14-Jan. 7, 2012, at the Orpheum Theatre); Denver, CO (Jan. 10-21, 2012, at the Buell Theatre); Houston, TX (Jan. 24-Feb. 5, 2012, at the Hobby Center); Fayetteville, AR (Feb. 7-12, 2012, at the Walton Arts Center); Dallas, TX (Feb. 14-26, 2012, at the Music Hall); Des Moines, IA (Feb. 28-March 4, 2012, at the Civic Center); Chicago, IL (March 6-25, 2012, at the Cadillac Palace); St. Louis, MO (March 27-April 8, 2012, at the Fox Theatre); Charlotte, NC (April 10-15, 2012, at the Belk Theatre); Durham, NC (April 17-22, 2012, at the Durham PAC); Providence, RI (April 24-29, 2012, at the Providence PAC); and Toronto, ON (May 2-June 3, 2012, at the Canon Theatre). The next show at the Ahmanson is “Fela“, moved up from April to fill in for “Funny Girl“, which was postponed. “Fela” runs from 12/14-1/22, and hottix are already on sale.

Upcoming Theatre, Concerts, and Dance: This evening sees us back in Saugus for the last show of the REP season, “The Graduate”. The first weekend of December brings “Lost and Unsung“, a celebration of music cut from musicals, at LA City College. The next weekend is busy, with a Mens Club Shabbat in the morning, and Travels with my Aunt” at the Colony Theatre in the evening. The end of December brings Fela!” at the Ahmanson Theatre (on 12/29). The remainder of December is unscheduled, but there is the de rigueur movie and Chinese food on Christmas day. January will bring the first show of the REP East season, as well as (hopefully) “Art” at the Pasadena Playhouse and “God of Carnage” at ICT Long Beach (ticketed for February 5). February will also bring “Ring of Fire” at Cabrillo Music Theatre, “Old Wicked Songs” at the Colony Theatre, and Bernadette Peters in concert at the Valley Performing Arts Center. As always, open dates are subject to be filled in with productions that have yet to appear on the RADAR of Goldstar or LA Stage Alliance.


Green and on the Screen

Last week, I wrote about our visit to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, a show that one attends for the entertainment value, not any significant or heavy plot. Today, as we’ve been orphaned for Thanksgiving, we decided to break with tradition and go see a movie: “The Muppets“, which opened yesterday.

Now, I have a smart spot in my heart for the Muppets. Growing up, The Muppet Show was one of those TV shows that appealed to my sensibility. It was a little bit Broadway, a little bit pop, with the right level of subversive and out of the box humor to appeal to my warped sense of humor. The early Muppet movies were good (and I always enjoyed the subversive nature of Muppet Classic Theatre), but later ones lost their way. Especially after the death of Jim Henson (so young), Disney just didn’t seem to know what to do with the Muppets, and they languished, forgotten and neglected.

I’m pleased to say that this movie confronts that issue dead on. As the movie starts, we meet Gary (Jason Segal), Mary (Amy Adams), and Gary’s brother, Walter (Walter, in a stunning debut). Gary and Mary are going to Los Angeles to celebrate their 10th dating anniversary, and they decide to bring Walter along to see the home of his heroes, the Muppets. Alas, when they arrive, the Muppet studios are derelict, and the Muppets are spread across the continent. The studio is about to be sold to a developer who wants the land for its oil. They only way to save the studio is to raise $10,000,000 by an artificial deadline, and the only way to do that is to reunite the Muppets. From this setup, the movie moves steadily to its goal: first the race to find and reunite everyone, and then restoring the theatre and putting on the Muppet telethon, all the while dealing with the bad guy, Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) (insert maniacal laugh). As one with expect with this being a Disney movie, the theatre is saved, but that is the least of the story line.

The movie is full of vintage Muppet humor (and that includes old jokes, wocka wocka). It includes self-referential humor. It includes lots of singing and dancing (this really is a musical, folks, but what did you expect?). It confronts the issue of what happened to the Muppets with humor straight on—it acknowledges that today’s audiences are believed to have moved beyond the basic humor that were the Muppets. It also provdes that belief wrong—it demonstrates that intelligent humor, singing, and dancing are more entertaining than fart jokes. Don’t believe me? Just look at where the box office receipts are going: The Muppets vs. Jack and Jill. Good humor and good writing will always win.

The performances were excellent. Jason Segal has lovable schlub down to a science, although it was unnerving to see him on the big screen. Amy Adams was back in the Enchanted-groove, with very strong singing and dancing (I had never noticed how muscular her legs are). Chris Cooper made a good evil guy, even if he couldn’t laugh. Jack Black, playing Jack Black, was very Jack Blackish. As for the Muppets themselves: the current voice talent is pretty close to the original, and the new writers generally had the characterizations right. Walter is the only new Muppet, and he never realizes he is a Muppet until the end—this is the basic conceit of the Muppet world: that they are no different than anyone else in the world. As would be expected, there are loads of cameos—I won’t mention them so as not to spoil them.

Not surprisingly, the movie does have some adult themes. The basic question the movie addresses is “What is our purpose in life?” For Muppets, that is clear that their purpose is to entertain; that is where they are happiest. Until they discover (or should I say, re-discover) that truth, they were doomed. There is also the question of finding out what we really love, and putting that love in our life with the correct importance. Love has always been a central theme in the Muppets; in this movie, there is not only the love between Kermit and Piggy, but the love between Gary and Mary. Both must be acknowledged for the world to be whole.

I truly hope that this movie creates a Muppet resurgence. I understand that NBC has requested a pilot for a new Muppets show. I’m hopeful, but this is NBC we are talking about. The Muppets are good, but I don’t know if they are strong enough to save the network (further, I’m curious why ABC isn’t doing the pilot). We need the Muppet’s brand of humor these days, and we need to bring back real variety shows.

Mahna Mahna.

Previews: Just a few previews. The first was for “Brave“, which looks to be a good girl-empowerment movie from Pixar. We’ll probably see it, but not in the theatre. The second was for a Japanese-style remake of The Borrowers called “The Secret World of Arrietty“. This uses traditional animation and will likely be good; however, I don’t think it will be a strong success at the box office just because of the nature of the typical audience. The third preview was for “Mirror Mirror, another comedy-fantasy based on Snow White that seems to focus on women-empowerment. Looks good, but Julia Roberts appears miscast. The last preview was for “Paranorman, which seemed out of time. This looks to be a good Halloween movie, but is being released in August, and previewed in November a year before. Perhaps they are trying to build word of mouth, but I’m not sure it will be successful, although they might pull a “Nightmare Before Christmas” out of it. From the folks that did Coraline.

Future Movie Plans: We plan to see a movie on Christmas Day (and have Chinese food); I’m not sure which one yet. Who knows… if Puss and Boots is still in the theatres we might see that; I’ve also heard good things about “Hugo“. Looking at the December releases, not much screams out: there is Carnage, but we are seeing the play in January, and I’d rather see the play first. “The Iron Lady” is a possibility, but I want to see the reviews. “Tintin” is another, but again I want to see the reviews. As for theatre… this weekend brings both “Bring It On” at the Ahmanson and “The Graduate” at REP East. For the rest, look at the bottom of the Chitty review.


What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?

I hope that everyone enjoys their roast eagle, with all the trimmings:

Take an Indian To Lunch

Take an Indian to lunch this week
Show him we’re a regular bunch this week
Show him we’re as liberal as can be
Let him know he’s almost as good as we

Make a feathered friend feel fed this week
Overlook the fact he’s red this week
Let him share our Quaker Oats
‘Cause he’s useful when he votes
Take an Indian to lunch

Two, four, six, eight, who do we tolerate
Indians, Indians, rah; rah; rah

Take an Indian to lunch this week
Let him sit right down and munch this week
Let’s give in and all do the brotherhood bit
Just make sure we don’t make a habit of it

Take an Indian to dine this week
Show him we don’t draw the line this week
We know everyone can’t be
As American as we
(After all, we came over on the Mayflower)
Take an Indian
(Not a wooden Indian)
But a real, live Indian
To lunch!

The Luncheon Under The Trees

Narrator: Needless to say, the luncheon there under the trees was a great success, and a good time was had by Puritan and Indian alike. Everything came off beautifully with the exception of one minor catastrophe.

Mayor: What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?
Charlie: Well, I cooked the turkey, that’s all.
Mayor: You put our national bird in the oven. Is that correct?
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh …
Mayor: And all of us had our mouths set for roast eagle with all the trimmings.
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh …
Mayor: You did a thing like that?
Charlie: Well, the two birds were lying there side by side.
Mayor: The *turkey* was for the centerpiece, Charlie, I mean …
Charlie: Well, they looked so much alike that I, uh …
Mayor: Well, we blew it now. They’re all sitting down at the tables out there.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Mayor: … starting on their little nut cups already. Just have to switch the birds, that’s all.
Charlie: Yeah, well …
Mayor: Serve them turkey instead of eagle. But it’s kinda scrawny-lookin’, isn’t it?
Charlie: Yeah, well I thought I’d stuff some old bread in it and make it look a little fatter.
Mayor: You do that, OK?


Swimming in Chum Infested Waters

Today’s a virtual Friday, and as it is proving busier than I expected (due to the ACSAC conference), let’s just jump into the chum-infested waters…