Friday Idiocy

A few Friday items to bring you into the weekend:

  • From the “The Bad Reviews Are Always More Fun” Department: As I’ve said many a time, bad reviews are a lot more fun to read. Consider the following from today’s “Land of the Lost” review in the NY Times:

    Although the original Sid and Marty Krofft series, which ran from 1974 to 1976, doubtless still has its fans, because, well, some people are happy to watch whatever pops up on their televisions, I suspect that a fair share also like to light up before tripping down that particular nostalgic byway. Alas, only popcorn and soda were served at the screening I attended.

    On the positive side, the movie does have Anna Friel (Pushing Daises), who gets a nice writeup in the LA Daily News. The article notes how she will be in a new theatrical version of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, without any mention of the previous disasterous Broadway version (a well-known flop), starring Richard Chamberlain and Mary Tyler Moore.

  • From the “Tell Me It’s A Joke” Department: It’s sad when a purportedly serious news article reads as a piece from The Onion: Ryanair CEO: ‘We are serious’ about a toilet fee:

    Still, [Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary] did tell reporters the toilet charge is expected to be in place on Ryanair planes within two years. O’Leary adds that he’s asking Boeing to look into putting credit-card readers on toilet locks for new jets. “We are serious about it,” O’Leary is quoted as saying by the Guardian. O’Leary made the comments following the carrier’s first full-year loss in nearly two decades.

    O’Leary didn’t stop there, taking the toilet idea one step farther. “He’s now proposing ripping out two of the three loos on a Boeing 737 to make way for a further six seats, claiming passengers can learn to cross their legs on flights of only an hour or so,” writes Alistair Osborne of the London Telegraph. The London Daily Mail quotes O’Leary as saying: “We are flying aircraft on an average flight time of one hour around Europe. What the hell do we need three toilets for?”

    That’s not all. Ryanair says it may also begin charging customers for sick bags, if they’re needed. There’s still more. The Daily Mail says “one of (Ryanair’s) more controversial plans (now) under discussion is (to) introduce new baggage measures, which would see passengers replace baggage handlers to load luggage onto aircraft.” That, of course, would help cut costs by eliminating baggage handlers.

    Right. Passengers as baggage handlers. Fees for barf-bags and to use the toilet. Nothing good can come from this idea.

  • From the “Maybe We Need A Part-Time Legislature” Department: Yesterday, I wrote about two bills demonstrating the legislature had too much time on their hands. CNN highlights another today, although had they been reading California Highways they would have known a lot sooner, because I added AB 255 to the list. Here’s the summary on AB 255:

    This bill would prohibit an operator, as defined, of a commercial Internet Web site or online service that makes a virtual globe browser available to members of the public from providing aerial or satellite photographs or imagery of places in this state that have been identified on the Internet Web site by the operator as a school, place of worship, or government or medical building or facility unless those photographs or images have been blurred. The bill would also prohibit that operator from providing street view photographs or imagery of those buildings and facilities. An operator that violates these provisions would be guilty of a crime and subject to a fine of not less than $250,000 for each day the operator is in violation of these provisions. In addition, an operator who is an executive officer or member of a board of directors who knowingly violates these provisions would also be subject to imprisonment in the state prison for one, 2, or 3 years. Because the bill would create new crimes, the bill would impose a state-mandated local program.

    I’m sorry, but this whole notion of blurring the images of buildings is security through obscurity. If I can drive my car around the building (which is where street view can get its images) or take a public flight over the building, then the information is public. I can understand restricting military bases and nuclear plants — I can’t fly over those. But schools, churches, and medical buildings? That’s going too far.

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Going to Robinsons Beverly Hills to Buy a Glove

A while back, I had saved a pointer to an article about the Robinsons store in Beverly Hills, which was the first Robinsons store out of downtown. This store has a special place in my heart — it is where my grandmother worked for many years in the Ladies Lingerie (hmmm, is there Men’s Lingerie?) department. The store, which opened in 1952, has been closed for a few years (a victim of department store mergers) and will eventually be razed for housing. But in its heyday, it was elegant: This Robinson’s was open and spacious, with four levels connected by “vertical transportation,” two escalators and two elevators. Loewy explained that “free flow traffic” made for easy “arcade shopping.” There were yard goods, children’s clothes, Adrian’s boutique and Robinaire, a shop for budget dresses. At the top was the Pink Tent for lunch. Floor-to-ceiling windows looked out on a California patio. Instead of department store counters and wood floors, there were streamlined cabinets and wall-to-wall carpeting. The Loewy firm was proud of the tables illuminating imported cut crystal, porcelain figurines and plates. It had used modern design to make the traditional look new.

What brought this article to mind was something else that used to be modern, hip, and in. Michael Jackson. These two are connected through an auction that is about to take place of Michael Jackson Memorabilia. The lots consist of all of Jackson’s items that were removed from Neverland Ranch. It’s quite a collection. Military-style outerwear, such as a red lamé jacket with gold tassels and red bugle beads (Lot No. 1,141, estimated at $4,000 to $6,000) or a navy-and-gold number with crown-shaped brooches (No. 1,273, $400 to $600). Bronze garden statues of young children frolicing by the dozen. Disney cartoon characters, along with Peter Pan pop up in paintings and figurines, sometimes dressed like their collector.

Want to see the collection. Well, you can look at the catalog, or you can trot on down to Robinsons Beverly Hills, between tomorrow and April 21 (10a-6p), and for $20, wander the store loaded with this stuff. Might just be worth it for the fun of it.

ETA (4/14/09): The auction was called off… but the exhibition goes on.

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More Chum To Chew On

I bet you thought I had found all the chum for the day. Think again. Here’s some more to chew on:

  • From the “ABC: Following in the Footsteps of Fox” Department: There is some bad news buried in the SF Chronicle review of “Ashes to Ashes”: “ABC announced this week that they’re canceling [the US version of “Life on Mars”] with closure – meaning people will find out about Detective Sam Tyler’s fate.” Sigh. Just as the series was getting damn good.
  • From the “I’ve always wondered why they have doorbells” Department: Not only is business booming for those with clearances. The SF Chronicle is reporting that business is booming for fortune tellers. Now, what I find most amusing is this quote from the article: “Rosemary McArthur, founder of the American Association of Psychics, a professional trade organization with more than 100 members, said 90 percent of her customers are now asking questions about their jobs and the economy.” Wait. Psychics have a professional trade organization? Do they have conferences? Why? Don’t they know ahead of time what is going to be said?
  • Frim the “But I wouldn’t want to eat there” Department: Time Magazine is reporting on an unusual restaurant in Taiwan: Modern Toilet, a popular Taiwanese restaurant chain that’s expanding into China and other parts of Asia. Every customer sits on a stylish acrylic toilet (lid down) designed with images of roses, seashells or Renaissance paintings. Everyone dines at a glass table with a sink underneath. The servers bring your meal atop a mini toilet bowl, you sip drinks from your own plastic urinal (a souvenir), and soft-swirl ice cream arrives for dessert atop a dish shaped like a squat toilet. What do they serve? Curries, pasta, fried chicken and Mongolian hot pot, as well as elaborate shaved-ice desserts with names like “diarrhea with dried droppings” (chocolate), “bloody poop” (strawberry) and “green dysentery” (kiwi). I’m just speechless.

You know, I was going to conclude with a serious piece about the importance of arts funding, but that last piece of chum is causing some intestinal blockage. I’ll write it tomorrow.

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Things That Make You Go “Huh?”

Some oddities from the news:

  • From the “Not a Hallmark Moment” Department: Russia is moving to ban the Western holidays of Halloween and Valentine’s Day as bad influences on the nation’s youth. Maxim Mishchenko, a Duma member, says he is pushing the bill to guard the “moral and spiritual upbringing” of the nation’s youth and to promote traditional Russian culture and values rather than those imported from the West. What’s next? Are they going to ban Mothers Day and Fathers Day?

    The proposal dovetails with a new Russian version of Valentine’s, called the Day of Family, Love and Fidelity. The holiday, held in June, was backed by first lady Svetlana Medvedev and the Russian Orthodox Church. Among its goals: stimulate a sense of family life and to stem Russia’s declining birth rate. Mishchenko says students should celebrate Russian holidays, not those heralded in the United States and Europe.

  • From the “Everything Old is New Again” Department: You all know how transfats are bad for you. No hydrogenated oils. Why not go back to the real thing. Lard! Yup, lard is becoming popular and trendy again. Now who says you can’t put lipstick on a pig!
  • From the “Counterintuitive” Department: Remember how the airlines said they were losing money when the price of oil went up? Well, United Air Lines is now noting that falling oil prices will also lead to a sizable net loss. Next thing you know, they’ll want a bailout.

And speaking of bailouts, it looks like Arnold has reached an agreement with the state legislature on a budget. About damn time. The good news is the assembly has acceded to Arnold’s demand for tighter restrictions on lawmakers’ access to the state’s rainy day fund, and have eliminated a proposal to raise $1.6 billion by increasing tax withholdings from Californians’ paychecks. The money will be raised instead by hiking penalties on corporations for late payment of taxes. A corporate tax amnesty program approved by the Legislature and intended to raise hundreds of millions of dollars was also eliminated to be replaced partly by cuts the governor intends to make by line-item veto and by shrinking the same rainy-day find that he has insisted be built up in the future.

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