Tag: bat-mitzvah
Today, I Am A Fountain Pen
This evening, we went to the Bar Mitzvah of my cousin/nephew, N. Excuse me, a “Barn Mitzvah”, for it was held in the Barn at Calamigos Ranch. Despite a number of last minute problems, and my worries about it being a 6:30pm service outside a sanctuary, it was quite good.
There was a normal afternoon service led quite capably by the Bar Mitzvah Boy and Cantor Ron Li-Paz of Valley Outreach Synagogue, followed by havdalah. We presented the BMB with a kiddish cup which he was delighted with, and used for the first time that evening. We had a good dinner. There was a DJ who did the usual DJ stuff (modern music, one hora, etc.) It was a good evening.
On the drive back, we talked with NSS&F about what she wanted to do for her Bat Mitzvah in December 2007. Her thoughts:
- No DJ. She wants a songleader to lead a zmirot session like at camp, with a few additional songs thrown in that everyone can sing. She’d like Israeli dancing, again like at camp, with some dances taught. She does want that weird candle thing they do nowaday (where does that come from, anyway).
- We’ll do ballons, but we really don’t like the mylar stuff.
- We’ll do a professional photographer to ensure good pictures, but no video.
- We still like the idea of using one of the temple’s captive caterers. We haven’t figured out menu yet.
- She’s thinking of a Broadway Theatre page. We think we could get posters of closed shows from some of the theatres we hit regularly (Pasadena Playhouse, Cabrillo, REP), and from theatre poster calendars. We could then make table decorations around that.
Quite sensible, in my opinion.
Tomorrow morning (which comes far too soon) is packing and getting ready to head out on vacation. If you are in the Sacramento or San Francisco/San Jose/Oakland Bay areas, we’d love to get together: respond here, or in this friends-only post with more details.
Musings on: Vacation, Heating, and Bat Mitzvahs
- We’ve now picked the time for our vacation. The plans are to leave Sunday, August 13 for Northern California (we’re driving). Monday and Tuesday I likely have testing in Foster City (yeah! chargable hours!) while my wife and daughter bum around. We plan on visiting friends (and that includes you, my LJ friends) in the greater San Francisco/San Jose/Oakland and Davis/Sacramento areas until Friday, August 25, when we drive back to Los Angeles. The interstitial weekend, August 19/20, we hope to spend in the Sacramento area, visiting our dear friend Rabbi Sheryl Nosan-Blank, spiritual leader of Or Rishon in Orangevale. Of course, during this time, we would love to visit with all of the folks on our friends lists in the area for conversation, games, and just plain socializing.
- It’s hot. Part of the problem is that they didn’t finish the HVAC work yesterday. They only connected the ducting to two of the bedrooms, and then the thermostat got wedged (I think it is failing) so that the A/C didn’t kick on. Luckily, we have ceiling fans in most rooms. Yet, it is still 80° in the house this morning. I’ve opened all the windows before it heats up–they predict a high of 91°F today, and 94°F tomorrow.
- Last night, I had Mozilla lose my profile. Luckily, I was able to recover it, but it still was a royal pain. Have other folks had Mozilla randomly lose its profile upon startup?
- Last night, we had our second B’nai Mitzvah Parents meeting. Quite interesting, especially when Cantor Alan brought one of the moms to the bima to demonstrate a point. She seems like a real nice lady. We got to write blessings for our children. The kids made yads while we met with the Cantor. Afterwards, I asked my daughter how long a yad was? She didn’t know, so I told her: 36 inches.
And now to clean off my desk so I can work. I’m working from home today, because my sister-in-law and her family are coming over at 4:00pm to visit.
Today, I am a Mont Blanc
This morning, based on the recommendation of our Rabbi at a recent meeting for parents of soon-to-be-b’nai mitzvah students, we went to go see Keeping Up With The Steins. This is a movie that I predict will become part of the standard Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parent training.
What the story? Here’s how Moviefone describes it: After his best friend’s bar mitzvah complete with ice sculptures and a rap version of ‘Hava Nagila,’ Benjamin (Daryl Sabara) discovers his father (Jeremy Piven) is planning to out-bar mitzvah his friend’s father by throwing Benjamin’s rite of passage at Dodger Stadium. But all of this just spells stress for Benjamin, who secretly laments over his pending adulthood and Torah memorizations, all while nursing a preteen crush on the pretty blonde in his Hebrew school. So he hatches a plan to sabotage his own bar mitzvah by inviting his estranged, skinny-dipping hippie grandfather (Garry Marshall) to the event. What begins as chaotic staging for a hostile family reunion quickly turns into a touching family comedy that anyone can relate to.
What did I think? First, I thought that Garry Marshall stole the show. His character is the heart of the film, together with Daryl Sabara. He plays the croctcheyt old Jewish grandfather (now living on an Indian Reservation) who teaches the lesson of the real meaning of a Bar Mitzvah ceremony. [Hmmm, like Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles] The other characters were mostly innocuous: the over-the-top dad (Jeremy Piven); the classic Brentwood mom (Jami Gertz); the Jewish grandmother (Doris Roberts); the trophy-girlfriend of the grandfather (Darryl Hannah). Second, I though the movie had a great point.
So what was this point, and why did our Rabbi (who is the rabbi of a congregation of mostly upper-middle-class to upper-class Jews) recommend it. Simple. The point is that the point of the ceremony is not the party afterwards. It is believing in the ceremony, and making it the center of action, not the party afterwards. What makes the party is the people and the love between them there, not the spectacle. I think this is a good message, and one that is important to reiterate to parents. The party is not for them.
Luckily, this is a message we had already planned on. NSS&F’s Bat Mitzvah is at the end of 2007, and we know we’ll have the reception afterwards in the Temple social hall. We’re planning to keep it simple. Middle-eastern food. A simple DJ. The focus will be the people there.
If you will be facing a bar or bat mitzvah in the future, I recommend you see this film.
Gulp! It’s Coming in 2007….
…my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, that is.
Tonight, we had our first meeting as prospective Bat Mitzvah parents. We got all the paper work, we got all the price sheets. We now get to answer those famous questions:
- What date do we want it? We can’t do it on her birthday, as they are setting up for the Chanukah bazaar. We’ll likely push it back to “shutdown” (between Christmas and New Years) so some relatives can drive in from Arizona. Thanksgiving weekend is also a possibility.
- Morning or Afternoon? We’re thinking morning, with lunch afterwards in the social hall.
- How Many Guests? Gulp. No idea.
Then there are the basic fees. The temple has a small set: education fee (with a deposit when you reserve the date), the security deposit, the pulpit flowers, the security guard, 20% of the catering bill, the dishwasher fees. Then, of course, are the reception fees you pay to the various vendors. Luckily, we’re all agreed on keeping it simple, so we’ll likely just have a caterer and some simple entertainment, in the social hall. Oh, right, invitations. I guess we’ll need those too. Additional flowers? Professional photographers? I just don’t know. Those of you who have coordinated such events: I do welcome advice.
Luckily, the Rabbi and Cantor emphasized (and I agree) that the focus is the ceremony, not the party afterwards.
But, you know, this is the wrong paperwork to hand me just after I’ve bought a house.