{"id":3805,"date":"2010-01-31T06:18:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-31T14:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/?p=3805"},"modified":"2010-01-31T06:18:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-31T14:18:00","slug":"thomp-skluk-splatch-goosh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/?p=3805","title":{"rendered":"Thomp Skluk Splatch Goosh"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Today would have<\/i> been National Gorilla Suit Day<\/a>, however, in November 2007, mark_evanier<\/a> indicated that Don Martin\u2019s widow had asked him<\/a> not to mention him or his holiday. So, in celebration of the fact that today is Not National Gorilla Suit Day, please do not wear your gorilla suit<\/a>. Keep it in the closet for another holiday.<\/p>\n

What is (or more precisely, was) National Gorilla Suit Day<\/a>? The holiday was concocted by MAD cartoonist Don Martin in a 1964 paperback Don Martin Bounces Back!<\/i> The most notable story in the book revolves around Fester Bestertester, who dares to mock the concept of National Gorilla Suit Day<\/a> as a day invented by the Gorilla Suit manufacturers solely to sell gorilla suits, and is then repeatedly pummeled by gorillas.<\/p>\n

However, do remember that not all gorilla suits look like gorilla suits, and although you might dress up a monkey, at heart, he\u2019s still a monkey. And so, in honor of monkeys in suits everywhere, we present this song from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels<\/a><\/i>:<\/p>\n\n\n
Dress up a monkey in Armani,
\nHe may seem precocious and cute.
\nDespite all that primpin’,
\nYou still got a chimp in
\na suit.<\/p>\n

Teach him the second Verse of “Swanee”
\nAnd most of “Moon River” to boot.
\nSure people will gape
\nBut you still got an ape
\nin a suit.<\/p>\n

Shprizt him ’til wet
\nWith the Eau de Toilette
\nAnd you’re still gonna get
\nA stench.<\/p>\n

Dampen him well
\nIn a quart of Chanel,
\nIt won’t cover the smell.
\nI should know, I’m French!<\/td>\n

   <\/td>\nTake him to see Don Giovanni,
\nShow him Cezanne’s lovely fruit,
\nTeach him to cook from Escoffier’s book,
\nHe’s still a gorilla en croute<\/i>
\nYou still got a chimp in a suit.<\/p>\n

So you’ve shaved off his fur,
\nDecked him out in couture
\nAnd endowed him with pure
\nSaviour Fare<\/i>
\nYou dressed him up fancy
\nAnd trained him to dance, he
\nRemains a chimpan-cee,
\nHe’s not Fred Astaire!<\/p>\n

Give him a dandy little topper,
\nTie on a natty cravat
\nBuy him a castle,
\nHe’ll still be an asshole
\nAnd nothing you do will change that
\nHe’s still just a stinky little minkey
\nIn a dinky little suit<\/p>\n

And a cheap little hat!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today would have been National Gorilla Suit Day, however, in November 2007, mark_evanier indicated that Don Martin\u2019s widow had asked him not to mention him or his holiday. So, in celebration of the fact that today is Not National Gorilla Suit Day, please do not wear your gorilla suit. Keep it in the closet for Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[164],"class_list":["post-3805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lj-xfer","tag-special-days"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3805"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3805\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}