Tonight, I’ll be trying out version 5 of our Haggadah. I just had to share the concluding page with you…<\/p>\n
‘Twas the night after Seder, and all through the house
\nNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
\nThe matzah, the farfel, the charoset I ate,
\nAfter both the Sedarim, had gone to my waist.
\nWhen I got on the scales there arose such a number!
\nWhen I walked over to shul (less a walk than a lumber),
\nI remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
\nThe turkey with gravy, the beef nicely rared,
\nThe wine and the matzo balls, the Migdal pareve cheese
\nThe way I’d never said, “I’ve had enough; no more, if you please.”
\nAs I tied myself into my apron again
\nI spied my reflection and disgustedly, then
\nI said to myself, “you’re such a weak wimp”,
\n“You can’t show up at shul resembling a blimp!”
\nSo-away with the last of the meatballs so sweet,
\nGet rid of the turkey, chopped liver and meat.
\nEvery last bit of food that I like must be banished
\n“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
\nI won’t have any more macaroons from the box,
\nI can’t wait til next week. (Ah, the bagels and lox.)
\nI won’t have any luchen, farfel or pt’chah,
\nI’ll munch on a carrot or wire shut my own jaw.
\nIt’s a three day yom tov and shabbas is still
\nAhead of me with another fleshiks meal to fulfill.
\nIf I have to cook one more chicken, I think I will riot.
\nSo a zisn pesach to you all and to all a good diet!
\n(From Josh Backon, on soc.culture.jewish.moderated)<\/i><\/p>\n
(Crossposted to weirdjews<\/a>)<\/font><\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Tonight, I’ll be trying out version 5 of our Haggadah. I just had to share the concluding page with you… ‘Twas the night after Seder, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The matzah, the farfel, the charoset I ate, After both the Sedarim, had gone to my waist. Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[465],"class_list":["post-1358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lj-xfer","tag-pesach"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1358"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1358\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}