{"id":11134,"date":"2016-02-05T20:05:32","date_gmt":"2016-02-06T04:05:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/?p=11134"},"modified":"2016-02-05T20:11:34","modified_gmt":"2016-02-06T04:11:34","slug":"occ4ccc-hacklib-memories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/?p=11134","title":{"rendered":"OCC4CCC.HACKLIB Memories"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"userpic=compusaur\"Working more on the document I worked on yesterday brought up even more memories than the SYSABEND<\/code> Dump<\/a>. So, I went out to the garage and found my copy of OCC4CCC.HACKLIB<\/code>. I’m betting most folks won’t even get these references. This is what passed for computer humor in the 1970s:<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Hail 360 Child of Evil<\/b>
\nMary Shaw, Datamation, 4-1-1971
\n<\/i><\/center>Hail 360, Child of Evil, for Thy misdeeds we curse Thee. Verily, do we curse and condemn Thee; We call down the Wrath of the Heavens upon Thee.<\/p>\n

Know, Three Sickly, that we hate Thee with a Pure and White-Hot passion. May all the Microseconds of Thine Existance be eons in Misery. As Thou pushest about the Bits of Thy Programs, may the 1-bits cause chills and may the 0-bits itch, and may Thou be in continual Torment. As Thou miscomputest the problems of Thy Users may every Man\u2019s hand be turned against Thee. May children cast Card Chad at Thee and call Thee cursed.<\/p>\n

May Thy insulation all evaporate and Thy ROS become writeable; and may a User write his FORTRAN program all over it.<\/p>\n

May Thy printers Rewind; and Thy tapes Unwind; and Thy memory banks grow Senile; and Thy drums be Out of Round; and Thy high-speed channel be Multiplexed with Thy reader\/punch; and may Thy Channel Programs loop.<\/p>\n

May Thy bits all have three states. May OS have 100 Releases, and may each release have 5000 APARS. May each APAR have 100 PTFs, and may each PTF be punched Off-Register on Warped Cards. May each PTF have 100 Hex patches, and may each patch grow scar tissue.<\/p>\n

May each Release require ten SYSGENs, and cost a Shift, and may each Shift be Billed at Prime Rates.<\/p>\n

May Thy Wait State ABEND; may Thy SVC\u2019s get protection violations; may Thy SPOOL overflow, may Thy DATA UNIT cut in and out. May Thy Adder drop its seventh Bit, and may Thy Multiplier compute Cube Roots. May Thy Move-Characters instruction complement every Third Bit. May Thy Floating-Point registers be where Thy Fixed-Point registers should be.<\/p>\n

A Pox upon Thee and upon Thy kin: upon Thy mod 44\u2019s and upon Thy mod 91\u2019s and upon Thy mod 67\u2019s. Yea, upon Thy children and Thy children\u2019s children, even unto the seventh Generation of Hardware.<\/p>\n

Yea, 360, know that Thou shall be sorely afflicted. From this time forth shall Thy Peripherals become independent Processors and shall Thou be synchronized with the low-speed printer. And Thy Cores shall be as dust within Thee and in Sorrow shall Thou lament Thy lot.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

PSALM X’17’<\/strong><\/p>\n

IBM is my Shepherd; I shall not interact.
\nHe giveth me dumps of the System Nucleus,
\nHe maketh me Subtract in HEXADECIMAL.
\nHe restoreth my Registers.
\nHe leadeth me in the paths of Ambiguity for His Manual’s sake.
\nYea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of the Program Check, I will fear no ABEND; for OS\/MVT is with me.
\nThy MESSAGES and thy CODES they comfort me.
\nThou preparest a Table before me in the Presence of mine Consultants.
\nThou allowest me to Chain my CCW’s;
\nThe Line Printer runneth over.
\nSurely the Operators will chase me all the days of my life,
\nand I shall Execute in KEY Zero forever.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

BATTLE HYMN OF THE PUBLIC<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the NIC,
\nThey were done upon the NETWORK, would be quicker with a BIC.
\nThe mumblejumble and jargon are enough to make you sick.
\nAnd time goes marching on…<\/p>\n

Glory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nupon the ARPANET.<\/p>\n

I started with a TTY and a manual on my knee.
\nThey preached the TELNET gospel in a numbered RFC.
\nWhat with IMPs and TIPs and HOSTS and Hacks I learned the litany,
\nThat Bits go marching on.<\/p>\n

Glory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nupon the ARPANET.<\/p>\n

I was told it was so easy, I could hack it in a day,
\nBut a User is a Loser if She’s 15 hops away.
\nThe Bits clogged up the buffers; caused a terrible delay,
\nAnd time goes marching on…<\/p>\n

Glory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nupon the ARPANET.<\/p>\n

Now I’ve come to face my sponsor and this stuff is hardly hacked,
\nIf it isn’t done by Friday I’ll be tortured, whipped, and racked.
\nThe brave new world surrounds me, but I think the deck is stacked
\nBut I’ll keep typing on…<\/p>\n

Glory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nGlory, Glory, I’m a User
\nupon the ARPANET.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Working more on the document I worked on yesterday brought up even more memories than the SYSABEND Dump. So, I went out to the garage and found my copy of OCC4CCC.HACKLIB. I’m betting most folks won’t even get these references. This is what passed for computer humor in the 1970s: *** Hail 360 Child of Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[72],"class_list":["post-11134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-compusaur"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11134"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11137,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11134\/revisions\/11137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cahighways.org\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}