freberg – Page 4 – Observations Along the Road

What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?

Posted onThursday, November 25, 2010Authorcahwyguy

I hope that everyone enjoys their roast eagle, with all the trimmings:

Take an Indian To Lunch

Take an Indian to lunch this week
Show him we’re a regular bunch this week
Show him we’re as liberal as can be
Let him know he’s almost as good as we

Make a feathered friend feel fed this week
Overlook the fact he’s red this week
Let him share our Quaker Oats
‘Cause he’s useful when he votes
Take an Indian to lunch

Two, four, six, eight, who do we tolerate
Indians, Indians, rah; rah; rah

Take an Indian to lunch this week
Let him sit right down and munch this week
Let’s give in and all do the brotherhood bit
Just make sure we don’t make a habit of it

Take an Indian to dine this week
Show him we don’t draw the line this week
We know everyone can’t be
As American as we
(After all, we came over on the Mayflower)
Take an Indian
(Not a wooden Indian)
But a real, live Indian
To lunch!

The Luncheon Under The Trees
Narrator: Needless to say, the luncheon there under the trees was a great success, and a good time was had by Puritan and Indian alike. Everything came off beautifully with the exception of one minor catastrophe.

Mayor: What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?
Charlie: Well, I cooked the turkey, that’s all.
Mayor: You put our national bird in the oven. Is that correct?
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh …
Mayor: And all of us had our mouths set for roast eagle with all the trimmings.
Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh …
Mayor: You did a thing like that?
Charlie: Well, the two birds were lying there side by side.
Mayor: The *turkey* was for the centerpiece, Charlie, I mean …
Charlie: Well, they looked so much alike that I, uh …
Mayor: Well, we blew it now. They’re all sitting down at the tables out there.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Mayor: … starting on their little nut cups already. Just have to switch the birds, that’s all.
Charlie: Yeah, well …
Mayor: Serve them turkey instead of eagle. But it’s kinda scrawny-lookin’, isn’t it?
Charlie: Yeah, well I thought I’d stuff some old bread in it and make it look a little fatter.
Mayor: You do that, OK?

You out of luck today. Banks closed.

Posted onMonday, October 11, 2010Authorcahwyguy

[United States of America] [Today is Columbus Day, and, FYI, the banks are closed. Thus, it is all together fitting and appropriate to remind people why we do this… to give bankers 3-day weekends :-)]

In 1961, the humorist Stan Freberg issued Volume 1 of The United States of America, a musical telling of the founding of America through the Battle of Yorktown (Volume 2 goes through the end of World War I (“They’ll never be another war…”)). The first scene on Volume 1 relates the story of how the Indians discovered Columbus. As today is Columbus Day, I present a transcription of the scene:

Read More …

You better get them to sign it in the next couple of days…

Posted onSunday, July 4, 2010Authorcahwyguy

Every year I post this on the 4th of July. For all that certain groups purport to know what this country’s founders wanted, I think it is best expressed in the sentiment “life, liberty, and the purfuit of happineff”. We still have that, for all the complaints. At times we may not like our leadership, and at times we may be frustrated at how our government is working (or not), but it is still the best system out there. Lastly, as much as I get annoyed at what those on the other side of the political spectrum say, I am still pleased to live somewhere where they have the right to say it. Happy Independence Day!

Narrator: The trouble continued to brew. It was a time for action, a time for words. On a hot July night in 1776, Benjamin Franklin was aroused from his work by the call of destiny.

You out of luck today. Banks closed.

Posted onMonday, October 12, 2009Authorcahwyguy

You better get them to sign it in the next couple of days…

Posted onFriday, July 3, 2009Authorcahwyguy

In honor of the upcoming holiday…

Narrator: The trouble continued to brew. It was a time for action, a time for words. On a hot July night in 1776, Benjamin Franklin was aroused from his work by the call of destiny.

Oregon! Oregon!

Posted onSaturday, February 14, 2009Authorcahwyguy

[A Tip O’ The Hat to mark_evanier]

mark_evanier, in a recent post, noted that this year is Oregon’s 150^th Anniversary. Now, this normally wouldn’t be of note, except that back in 1959 (which was Oregon’s 100^th birthday), they commissioned satirist Stan Freberg to produce a celebratory musical in the spirit of works like Omaha! and The United States of America (the latter came before, the former after, so I guess he was working up from city to state to nation). In any case, before Mark’s post, I never knew about Oregon! Oregon!.

Back to the story. Oregon! Oregon! ended up being a 21-minute, 3-act musical, performed as a record and debuted on radio. Most never heard it. However, for the 150^th anniversary, the state is commissioning Stan to add a 4^th act… and NPR has done a piece on it. Even better, the article includes a link so that you can listen to the original recording.

Needless to say, Roxio just came in handy, and it’s going on the iPod, together with Omaha! (which was already there)

Hello, Chum

Posted onWednesday, December 17, 2008Authorcahwyguy

Been busy the last few days, but I do have a few news items for you to consider:

From the “Butter. Parkay.” Department: Missouri is considering finally decriminalizing margarine. Missouri House member Sara Lampe said Tuesday that she plans to file legislation repealing Missouri’s butter law, which dates to 1895. The law restricts the sale, possession or shipment of imitation butter and bans yellow-tinted varieties. Those dealing contraband dairy products can be fined up to $100 and jailed for up to a month.
From the “Remember When They Were Joined At The Hip?” Department: MGM Mirage is selling ~~Treasure Island~~ TI to Phil Ruffian, owner of the site that used to be the Frontier hotel. TI was built for $450 million by casino mogul Steve Wynn and opened in 1993, featuring a public pirate show set on a replica ship in front of the building. It now has 2,885 guest rooms and suites, 90,000 square feet of gambling space, restaurants and entertainment. The property was recast in 2003 by MGM Mirage as TI, with a sexier “Sirens of TI” show replacing the pirate extravaganza. Me? I liked the pirates.
From the “Where Are We Going To Eat?” Department: Orange County has rejected having letter grades for their restaurants because the Board of Sups is worried about harming restaurant owners during a recession. Come again? What about the patrons? In the last three months, for instance, health inspectors have shut down an ice cream shop in Orange after finding cockroaches on the floor and wall near the preparation counter and a Laguna Beach restaurant after finding a live rodent caught on a glue trap. Both of the restaurants reopened after passing follow-up inspections.
From the “Mmmmm. Fat.” Department: Want to know what makes holiday cookies good? Butter. The NY Times has a nice article about its secrets.
From the “When Will They Learn?” Department: Wondering why the big three don’t build successful small cars? Because they’ve failed before and before that.
From the “Planned Obsolescence” Department: And yet again Stan Freberg comes to mind. No, not Green Chri$tma$. Rather, there’s a good article in the NY Times about how things are now meant to be non-repairable, to be thrown out and replaced in our disposable culture.