OK, Folks, you know the drill. Let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says:
“Today, we have two special young ladies for whom we have Happy Birthday wishes. For the first, a Ms. Barely Proper, we’ve invited some very special handsome young men (which we know she likes) to serinade her. Boys?”
From the wings come a funny looking group of three guys, and they sing:
Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates
The fact that you were able to make
Another trip around the sun
And the whole clan gathers round
And gifts and laughter do abound
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song
Happy birthday!
Now you’re one year older!
Happy birthday!
Your life still isn’t over!
Happy birthday!
You did not accomplish much
But you didn’t die this year
I guess that’s good enough |
So let’s drink to your fading health
And hope you don’t remind yourself
The chance of finding fame and wealth
Decrease with every year
Does it feel like you’re doing laps
And eating food and taking naps
And hoping that someday perhaps
Your life will hold some cheer
Happy birthday!
What have you done that matters?
Happy birthday!
You’re starting to get fatter
Happy birthday!
It’s downhill from now on
Try not to remind yourself
Your best years are all gone |
If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice
But instead your time is set
This is the only life you get
And though it hasn’t ended yet
Sometimes you wish it might
Happy birthday!
You wish you had more money
Happy birthday!
Your life’s so sad it’s funny
Happy birthday!
How much more can you take?
But your friends are hungry
So just cut the stupid cake |
Of course, we can no longer trust her. At least according to Jack Weinberg.
Sheriff John continues:
Now, for our second birthday girl, a Ms. Diva Steph. You hadn’t indicated a preference, but I didn’t feel the polka was right for you. So I rummaged around a bit, and found the following.
He pulls out his guitar, strums an “A” note, and sings:
| Ze hayom lachalom mitkansim beyachad
It’s a celebration ze ba li pa’am bashana
Happy birthday to you chalomot yitgashmu
Im nachgog venirkod ad haboker
Happy birthday to you
shehashanim ya’avru
bekef besimcha uve’osher
Yeladim mizdaknim od shana overet
It’s a celebration ze ba li pa’am bashana
Happy birthday to you chalomot yitgashmu
Im nachgog venirkod ad haboker
Happy birthday to you
shehashanim ya’avru
bekef besimcha uve’osher |
|
This is the day to dream we all get together
It’s a celebration it come once a year
Happy birthday to you may your dreams come true
We will celebrate and dance until morning comes
Happy birthday to you
let the years pass
with pleasure and happiness
Kids grow older another year passes
It’s a celebration it come once a year
Happy birthday to you may your dreams come true
We will celebrate and dance until morning comes
Happy birthday to you
let the years pass
with pleasure and happiness |
Happy birthday to both of you.
[Please remember, if you fill out the poll in this posting, I can make sure you get the birthday song you want.]
