Lizards Invade Bay Area! News At 11!

For those in the Bay Area… My favorite satirical bluegrass group, the Austin Lounge Lizards is invading Berkeley this Saturday. I can’t see it, but you lucky folks in the area can. So go see them for me! They will be at Freight & Salvage, 1111 Addison, and have two shows: 5:00 & 8:00 PM. More information can be found here.

[Friday, they will be in Mendocino, at the Mendocino Music Festival, in a tent on Main Street at 7:30 PM. Oh why, oh why, can’t they come to Southern California!]


Channeling Lizards for Right and Might

Watch this video from You Tube (“Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis”) by Eric Schwartz. It’s probably not safe to listen to at work (references to male organs), but it reminds me of some of the best targeted messages of the Austin Lounge Lizards. For those that can’t listen to it, here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Well I’m frickin’ sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right’s
Ungodly fight to take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection
If we’re just practicing for now
So dubya look obey a book
If that’s what works for you
But I don’t tell you how to pray
So don’t tell me how to screw
    So you’re screaming bloody murder
‘Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here’s a mirror, have a look

And as for the ten commandments
They need one more at least
Thou shall never cover up
The acts of pervert priests
How’d they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us
Well anyway it adds
Another layer to the chorus

It is as good a commentary on the behaviour of the “Christian Right” as “Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You“:

I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew
I just can’t abide a sinner like you
God can’t either, that’s why I know it to be true that
Jesus loves me–but he can’t stand you

I’m going to heaven, boys, when I die
‘Cause I’ve crossed every “t” and I’ve dotted every “i’
My preacher tell me that I’m God’s kind of guy; that’s why
Jesus loves me–but you’re gonna fry

Watch it. Highly recommended.


Raise the Jolly Roger for KaiserBlueCrossHealthCareCo, and Toast the Earth for ExxonMobil

This morning when I checked my email, I had a message from Conrad Deisler of the Austin Lounge Lizards. He was letting his fans know that the lizards have released two more politically-themed animations:

  • Toast The Earth. Made for a group called “TrueMajority“, this animation addresses the lunacy of the global energy organizations, such as ExxonMobil. “Toast the Earth with ExxonMobil, just ignore that burning smell…”
  • Pirates of the Health Care-ibbean“, a pirate-song for the Foundation for Taxpayer and Conumer Rights (FTCR). This animation addresses the lunacy of health care profits (and is great in tandem with their song “Rasputin’s HMO”). “Yo Ho. Yo Ho. Go Ahead and Die. I’ve got mine and I feel fine, so go ahead and die!”

These two animations are on top of their previous three:

  • It’s Always Christmas Time for Visa“, done for Consumers Union, about the greed in the Credit Card Industry. “It’s always Christmas time for Visa / Mastercard gets presents every day / Our interest rate just went to 29 percent / Even though we’ve never failed to pay”
  • The Tower“, also done for Consumers Union, about the power of the media conglomerates. “It was the Tower, Big Media Power / Beaming down from heaven every minute, every hour / Invasive and persistent, / Abandon your resistance to the Tower”
  • The Drugs I Need“, also for Consumers Union, about media advertising and the selling of untested and unneccessary drugs. “My disease may not be fatal, but I can ease my fears / By taking two twelve-dollar pills each day for fifty years / They’ve spent billions to convince me so now I realize / Progenatorivox beats diet and exercise”. Note that you can take Progenitorivox in conjunction with Panexa

Austin Lounge Lizards humor. This is how a day should start.


It’s Always Christmas Time (for Visa)

The Austin Lounge Lizards have done it again. That’s right. Not one (Progenitorivox). Not two (The Tower). No, it’s three songs for Consumers Union.

The latest is called “It’s Always Christmas Time (for Visa)“, and is about the greed of the credit card industry. Let’s all sing together:

It’s always Christmas time for Visa
Mastercard gets presents every day
Our interest rate just went to 29 percent
Even though we’ve never failed to pay
It’s always Christmas time for Visa
An American Expression of good cheer
The payments that we’re making are the gift that keeps on taking
And leaves us buried deeper every year


Competition in the Drug Industry

It has been brought to my attention by patgund that my favorite medicine, Progenitorivox, has some competition. It appears that there is a new drug called Panexa that may be just what I need. According to the safety information, PANEXA is a prescription drug that should only be taken by patients experiencing one of the following disorders: metabolism, binocular vision, digestion (solid and liquid), circulation, menstruation, cognition, osculation, extremes of emotion. For patients with coronary heart condition (CHC) or two separate feet (2SF), the dosage of PANEXA should be doubled to ensure that twice the number of pills are being consumed. PANEXA can also be utilized to decrease the risk of death caused by not taking PANEXA, being beaten to death by oscelots, or death relating from complications arising from seeing too much of the color lavender. Epileptic patients should take care to ensure tight, careful grips on containers of PANEXA, in order to secure their contents in the event of a seizure, caused by PANEXA or otherwise.

Progenitorivox and Panexa: The Drugs I need.

P.S.: Beware the Tower.


[Never got website work done… fighting headache… maybe I should take Progenitorivox]

The Austin Lounge Lizards have just completed their second video for Consumers Union: This one is called “The Tower“, and it is about fighting the FCCs attempt to regulate media behind closed doors. In short, Congress is about to move forward on a plan to sell some of the public’s most valuable airwaves to telecommunications giants as part of its budget process. It also pokes at the gr0wing single-ownedness of the media these days, which limits the voices we hear. You can see the video and learn more at


Progenitorivox: But it’s worth it, for the drugs I need.

Every time I listen to the new Austin Lounge Lizards video, I love it more. Here’s a transcript:

You’ve got a headache, and I’ve got some strange disease
Don’t worry about it, this pill will set your mind at ease.
Its called Progenatorivox: its made by Squabbmerleco
It’s a life enhancing miracle, but there are somethings you should know:

It may cause:
agitation, palpitations, excessive salivation,
constipation, male lactation, rust-colored urination,
hallucitations, bad vibrations, mild electric shock sensations.
But its worth it, for the drugs I need.

My disease may not be fatal, but I can ease my fears
By taking two twelve-dollar pills each day for fifty years
They’ve spent billions to convince me so now I realize
Progenatorivox beats diet and exercise

I’ve got insurance; at least for now I do
And if I bought generic, it would cut my costs in two
But I want Progenatorivox cause I saw it on TV
Those families look so functional—that paisley pill’s for me

But it may cause:
deprivation, humiliation, debtors prison and deportation
dark depictions, dire predictions, life as seen in Dicken’s fiction
empty pockets, court dockets, may cause eyes to fall from sockets.
But its worth it, for the drugs I need.

But its worth it…(In Canada they get this for a song)
But its worth it, for the drugs I need.

The opinions expressed in this song are not necessarily those of Squabbmerleco or its subsidiaries. Progenatorivox is not available anywhere. Offer void in Wisconsin. Any resemblence to actual drugs, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any unauthorized use of your own judgement in the application of Progenatorivox is strictly prohibited. Progenatorivox may not be reproduced without the express written consent of Major League Baseball. Progenatorivox may cause drowsiness or restlessness in lab animals. Do not resume sexual activity while operating heavy machinery without consulting your physician. For erections lasting longer than four hours, insert your own joke here. If you experience psychotic episodes, you’re crazy. If death occurs, discontinue use of Progenatorivox immediately. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. All sales final. Batteries not included.

But its worth it, for the drugs I need.


The Drugs I Need

The Austin Lounge Lizards just sent me mail that they’ve been up to something a little different of late— they had a commission to write a song about the pharmaceutical industry for the Consumers’ Union. It is wonderful. The result is a weird cartoon-animated video of the song.

The drugs I need. Yeah!

So what have we been doing this weekend? Well, I’ve been burning CDs from Vinyl; I’ve done about six so far. I’ve also done about seven loads of laundry. We’ve also been spending a lot of time with ellipticcurve, helping her on her house hunt. We’ve driven through potential neighborhoods, shown her the good and the bad, and gotten her in touch with a real good broker friend (who sold us our house, and at whose house our daughter had her baby shower). So, for a weekend without much planned, we’re exhausted!

Hope your weekend was good!