Lyrics: 30/90 [Jonathan Larsen, from “tick… tick… Boom!”]

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out and introduces himself as Sheriff John. He then pulls out his electric guitar, and says, “Happy Birthday, [assignment: name]! This song, from the musical tick… tick… Boom!, is for you”. He then sings:

Stop the clock
Take time out
Time to regroup
Before you lose the bout
Face the thrill
Back it up
Time to refocus
Before they lap it up

Years are getting shorter
The lines on your face are getting longer
Feel like you’re treading water
But the riptide’s getting stronger
Don’t panic, don’t jump ship
Can’t fight it, like taxes
At least it happens
Only once in your life

They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
You just wanna lay down and cry
Not just another birthday, it’s 30/90
Why can’t you stay 29
Hell, you still feel like you’re 22
Turn 30 in 1990
Bang! You’re dead. What can you do?
What can you do?
What can you do?

Clear the runway
Make another pass
Try one more hook
Before you’re out of gas
Friends are getting fatter
Hairs on you head are getting thinner
Feel like a clean up batter
On a team that ain’t a winner

Don’t freak out, don’t strike out
Can’t fight it, like City Hall
At least you’re not alone
Your friends are there too

They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
You just wish you could run away
Who cares about a birthday?
But 30/90, hey

Can’t you be optimistic?
You’re no longer eons of you
Turn 30, 1990
Voom! You’re passe
What can you do?

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell
Which way to Never Never Land?
Emerald City’s gone to hell
Since the wizard blew off his command

On the streets you hear the voices
Lost children, crocodiles
But you’re not into
Making choices, wicked witches,
Poppy fields, or men behind the curtains,
Tiger lilies, ruby slippers
Clock is ticking, that’s for certain

They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
I just wish it all were a dream
It feels much more like doomsday
What 30/90 seems

I’m dying for a twister
I don’t see a rainbow, do you?
Turn 30 into 90
Look into my hands now
What the ball has passed
I want the spoils, but not too fast
The world is falling
It’s now or neverland
Why can’t I stay till
The forever end?
30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90.
What can I do? What can I do?

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