Found whilst perusing my friendsfriends list while eating lunch: A Gamer’s Haggadah.
Some samples:
Preparation: you must remove all traces of roll-and-move and trivia games from your house. Spiritually, you must try to remove them from your heart, as well.
-All-
These are the games of affliction that the monolithic board game manufacturers have foisted upon us, our fathers, and our forefathers. Yesterday, we were slaves to Monopoly, today we are free to play games from all countries. Yesterday we were slaves to Trivial Pursuit, today we are free men and women.
-Youngest child-
Why is this game night different from all other game nights?
On all other game nights we play all type of games; tonight we play only Eurogames.
On all other game nights we invite the Nudelman’s who play only Charades, and badly at that; tonight we have lots of interesting people with good manners who look intelligent, don’t smell funny, and don’t pinch my cheeks.
On all other game nights we invite that ugly woman that you said is loudmouthed and a busybody and wouldn’t know how to close her mouth if she were handed a six-page, fully illustrated … ! Hey! I don’t have to go to the bathroom! Hey!
-Leader-
Ahem. Kids. Heh.
We were slaves to Hasbro in America. Then Mayfair brought over Settlers of Catan and marketed it. Now the roots of freedom have taken hold and other game companies are flourishing. Niche game companies heard our cry and brought us games that are worth playing. If it were not for these game companies, we, and our children, and our children’s children, would still be trying to pry colored plastic wedges jammed the wrong way into fat plastic pizzas.
Hmmm, I wonder if gf_guruilla will let me do this next year….
