Today, while my iPod was on shuffle, up came a song from the 1967 flop musical, “How Now Dow Jones” (book: Max Shulman; lyrics: Carolyn Leigh; music: Elmer Bernstein). The musical ran for 220 performances in 1967, and even its lead actor, Tony Roberts, thinks a revival is unlikely. Part of the problem is that the plot is very dated. Quoting from Wikipedia:
Act I
Kate (“the voice of Dow Jones”) is frustrated that her engagement to Herbert, a Wall Street analyst, has gone on for three and a half years, only because Herbert has been expecting the Dow Jones average to hit the magic mark of 1000. She meets Charley (a chronic failure), and they find that they share not only suicidal tendencies but also an attraction.
Cynthia (Kate’s friend and a tour guide for the NYSE), who recently met Wingate (a Wall Street Tycoon) at a party and worships him, visits him in his office; Wingate, who is married, sets her up in an apartment as his mistress. After she leaves, Wingate and his fellow tycoons try to talk Senator McFetridge out of using an investigation of Wall Street to help his next election campaign.
After spending the night, Charley is smitten with Kate and wants them to travel the world together, but Kate turns him down, still hoping for a steady life with Herbert.
Having lured all other types of investors, Wingate now wants to convince widows and orphans to take their money out of safe bank accounts. But his customers’ men don’t have the kind of gawkiness that would win over old ladies. He notices Charley out on a window ledge about to jump, stops him, and finds him to be just the right kind of man for the job. Charley quickly becomes successful at charming rich widows into betting on the stock market.
Meanwhile, Kate finds out she’s pregnant from her one-night stand with Charley. She loses her resolve to tell him when his childhood sweetheart Sue Ellen Bradbury and her father (the richest man in Elmira NY) show up at their meeting place: now that Charley has turned out not quite the total failure Mr. Bradbury thought he was, Charley and Sue Ellen are engaged. In desperation, during her next Dow Jones update, Kate ignores the true figures given to her and announces that the Dow has reached 1000.
Act II
There is initial euphoria among investors such as the widows and Kate’s doctor. But soon it is discovered that the announced figures were false. After all the tycoons eliminate each other as the perpetrators, they narrow down Kate as the suspect, but Senator McFetridge does not believe the scenario and plans to explose Wall Street corruption in a news interview. The rest try to find Kate.
Wingate visits Cynthia at her new apartment to ask if she knows where Kate is. It turns out that he has never taken advantage of their arrangement since it was first set up. He tells her that if the market crashes, the apartment will have to go. Cynthia brightens up when he asks her come with him to stand by his side when the national panic happens.
Wingate, Cynthia, Herbert, and Charley find Kate in her apartment. Even though she lied in order to get Herbert to marry her, she really doesn’t love him. The matter of her pregnancy by Charley causes Wingate nearly to faint at the thought of what this entire illicit affair would do to the image of Wall Street. Left alone, Kate and Charlie resolve against suicide. Charlie is determined to come up with a solution and to make a life with Kate.
At Wingate’s brokerage, the bottom is about to fall out. Even the Senator is resigned to having to live off of only his congressional salary from now on. Suddenly Charley comes in with Kate and the solution to the problem: the legendary old man A.K. himself, in a wheel-chair. Wall Street respects everything A.K. does in the stock market. Doddering near the end of his one sane hour a day, A.K. is convinced by Charley to buy up all the stocks that are now up for sale and thereby save the U.S. economy.
Now, admittedly it would need some updating, but I think the basic plot probably could be adapted and fit well to the current financial debacle. Despite the book problem, the songs are reasonably enjoyable. Reworks of problematic shows have been successful before: look at the recent reworking of “Flower Drum Song”. I know that some owners of the properties are more willing to permit reworks to bring these problem shows back (especially when the underlying score is strong and the problem is more the book).
What other shows would I like to see revived and reworked? First and foremost, “Tenderloin”, a Bock-Harnick failure about a do-good preacher crusading against prostitution. Then again, that likely would have done better during the previous administration. I’d also love to see a production and rework of any of the three Rogers and Hammerstein failures, “Me and Juliet”, “Pipe Dream” (which sounds a lot like Carousel), or “Allegro”. From Kander-Ebb, I’d love to see a production of “70 Girls 70” (the music is great) or “The Rink”.
P.S.: As an aside, the casting for the upcoming Addams Family musical in 2010 has been announced, and it is inspired: Nathan Lane as Gomez, Bebe Neuwirth as Morticia, Kevin Chamberlain as Uncle Fester, Jackie Hoffman as Grandmama, Zachary James as Lurch, Adam Reigler as Pugsley, and Krysta Rodriguez as Wednesday. Also in the cast are Terrence Mann as Mal Beineke, and Carolee Carmello as Alice Beineke. The musical features music and lyrics by Tony-nominatd librettists Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice (Jersey Boys) and Drama Desk Award winner Andrew Lippa (The Wild Party). It is based on the cartoons, not the TV show or the movie. The plot is described as: “Storm clouds are gathering over the Addams Family manse. Daughter Wednesday, now 18, is experiencing a sensation that surprises and disgusts her — caring about another person. Young Pugsley, jealous of his sister’s attention, begs her to keep torturing him, severely, while mother Morticia, conflicted over her daughter’s lurch into womanhood, fears being upstaged and discarded…like yesterday’s road kill. All the while, father Gomez — master of the revels, mischievous and oblivious as ever — would prefer everything and everyone remain as it is. But when outsiders come to dinner, the events of one night will change forever this famously macabre family — a family so very different from your own…or maybe not.”
