I Do It The Company Way!

Earlier today, I wrote:

While I was walking back from the cafeteria with my lunch today, a fellow employee turned to me and asked if there was a full menu in the cafeteria today. I replied that I didn’t know; I get the same thing every day. I thought about adding “Their haddock sandwich; it’s delicious … early in the week.” I didn’t think he would get the reference, however.

I wondered if anyone would get the reference. One anonymous poster and talonvaki did; another found the reference via web search. Perhaps it was too much for people to recognize a line from an early 1960s musical, even if it was revived in the 1990s. So, here’s the answer:

The line is from the musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. This was a musical about J. Pierpont Finch, who finds a book on how to slack his way to success, and works his way up to the top of the company. The particular song is called “The Company Way”. At the point in the show when the song is sung, Mr. Twimble, head of the mail room, has worked for the company for 25 years; all of them in the mail room. Finch’s book advises him the mailroom is a place from which to escape as soon as possible. When he is offered a mail room promotion, Finch turns it down, recommending Frump, the boss’ unscrupulous nephew. The song goes as follows:

Twimble: When I joined this firm
As a brash young man,
Well, I said to myself,
“Now, brash young man,
Don’t get any ideas.”
Well, I stuck to that,
And I haven’t had one in years.

Finch: You play it safe.

Twimble: I play it the company way;
Wherever the company puts me
There I stay.
Finch: But what is your point of view?
Twimble: I have no point of view.
Finch: Supposing the company thinks . . .
Twimble: I think so too.

Finch: Now, what would you say . . .?
Twimble: I wouldn’t say.

Finch: Your face is a company face.
Twimble: It smiles at executives
Then goes back in place.
Finch: The company furniture?
Twimble: Oh, it suits me fine.
Finch: The company letterhead?
Twimble: A valentine.

Finch: Anything you’re against?
Twimble: Unemployment.

Finch: When they want brilliant thinking
From employees
Twimble: That is no concern of mine.
Finch: Suppose a man of genius
Makes suggestions?
Twimble: Watch that genius get suggested to resign.

    Finch: So you play it the company way?
Twimble: Company policy is by me OK.
Finch: You’ll never rise up to the top.
Twimble: But there’s one thing clear:
Whoever the company fires,
I will still be here.

Finch: Oh, you certainly found a home!
Twimble: It’s cozy.

Finch: Your brain is a company brain.
Twimble: The company washed it,
Now I can’t complain.
Finch: Hey, the company magazine!
Twimble: Oh, what style, what punch!
Finch: The company restaurant!
Twimble: Ev’ry day same lunch:

Twimble: Their haddock sandwich; it’s delicious!
Finch: I must try it.
Twimble: (Early in the week.)

Finch: Do you have any hobbies?
Twimble: I’ve a hobby; I play gin with Mr. Bratt.
Finch: Mr. Bratt! And do you play it nicely?
Twimble: Play it nicely . . . still, he blitzes me
In every game, like that!

Finch: Why?

Twimble: ‘Cause I play it the company way.
Executive policy is by me OK.
Finch: Oh, how can you get anywhere?
Twimble: Junior, have no fear;
Whoever the company fires,
I will still be here.

Finch: You will still be here.
Both: Year after year after fiscal,
Never take a risk-al year!

Let’s see. I have been there 18 years. So perhaps I do do it the company way after all.

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