Tag: pesach

Next year, I’ve decided to make our seder more efficient. I think that, just before the story of the Exodus, we’ll serve the soup and appetizers. Then, while we’re eating dinner, we’ll have the third and fourth cups of wine. We’ll have dessert while we’re singing. In fact, I believe that all seders that don’t multitask like this aren’t following halacha.

Why, you ask?

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Well, we made it through the first Seder (although with the way this morning has gone, a 2^nd Seder might be easier). First, I thank those on my LJ friends list who joined us at the Sedar. Some observations from last night:

• Setting the table with your finest china and silver sure does look pretty. It would be nice, however, if the sets were more complete, or it got more use than once a year. Maybe nowadays folks know to get stuff that is more practical; 20+ years ago when I got married, one still did china and silver. However, it is still an effort to wash and put away afterwards.
• I hear stories of how the Orthodox do the entire evening exploring nuances of the story as they go through the haggadah. How they do this is beyond me; I haven’t had it happen in my my 30-so years doing sederim. Between family members who was “God brought out out of Egypt, we survived, let’s eat”, children who are hungry and want dinner *now*, adults who want to leave before 9:30 pm because they have to drive home/work the next day… it just doesn’t happen.
• Next year, we need to start earlier… and not care whether everyone else has arrived. This might permit us to finish. Perhaps we should consider serving the soup after the first cup of wine.
• There seems to be one spot in our haggadah that triggers political controversy, usually (given our crowd) against the Republicans. This is growing to bother me. Not because I agree with the party positions, but during the seder we’re supposed to remember the Egyptian’s sorrow as well. Thus, it would seem, we should realize that the vast population of those in power (the common Egyptians) might not agree with the stances of their leaders (Pharoah)… and we should not demonize the large for the actions of the few. The increased polarity and black/white thinking in our socity is not good.
• My daughter is wanting to become more the performer, or at least it seemed that way. I think she started playing for the humor a bit much.
• I need to remember to proofread the haggadah better. I still have some bad typos in there. I should fix it now while I remember them. What were they again?
• If you’re going to take a while to get your kids settled down at the table, don’t then rush me when it takes longer to get to dinner. There are parts I just can’t cut out, although I can cut them down.
• Even with all of this: I still find this ceremony one of the more meaningful ones, and there are nuances one can grasp, independent of the spiritual aspects. I just wish I could explore them more.

Oh well. Now it is off to my leftovers…you think Thanksgiving leaves you with leftovers… try hosting a Seder!

So, with all this tsuris, why do I host the seders. My enjoyment of running a seder is the result of being given a Seder Plate as a confirmation gift from Wilshire Blvd Temple. Since then, I’ve always hosted my own. Certainly much more influential than being given a scroll in 4-pt type or a Tanach in 6 pt type. Have you had any gifts that have influenced your life in a similar way?

Too busy to post much today… getting ready for for Seder. So, here’s a picture of last year’s table. This year’s looks pretty much like this, except I used different china:

Further, in the spirit of the day, a tidbit from Josh Backon:

‘Twas the night after Seder, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The matzah, the farfel, the charoset I ate,
After both the Sedarim, had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked over to shul (less a walk than a lumber),
I remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The turkey with gravy, the beef nicely rared,
The wine and the matzo balls, the Migdal pareve cheese
The way I’d never said, “I’ve had enough; no more, if you please.”
As I tied myself into my apron again
I spied my reflection and disgustedly, then
I said to myself, “you’re such a weak wimp”,
“You can’t show up at shul resembling a blimp!”
So-away with the last of the meatballs so sweet,
Get rid of the turkey, chopped liver and meat.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have any more macaroons from the box,
I can’t wait til next week. (Ah, the bagels and lox.)
I won’t have any luchen, farfel or pt’chah,
I’ll munch on a carrot or wire shut my own jaw.
It’s a three day yom tov and shabbas is still
Ahead of me with another fleshiks meal to fulfill.
If I have to cook one more chicken, I think I will riot.
So a zisn pesach to you all and to all a good diet!

This was just sent to me by Rabbi Stiebel… who used to do the longest sermons 🙂

The Two-Minute Haggadah
A Passover service for the impatient.
By Michael Rubiner (4-21-06)

Opening prayers:

Thank God for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we’re free. That’s why we’re doing this.

Four questions:
1. What’s up with the matzah?
2. What’s the deal with horseradish?
3. What’s with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What’s this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers:
1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It’s called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.

A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child – explain Passover.
Simple child – explain Passover slowly.
Silent child – explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child – browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzah. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.

The story of Passover:
It’s a long time ago. We’re slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzah. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren’t so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)

The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice – you name it.

The singing of “Dayenu”:
If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would’ve been enough. If he’d punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, if would’ve been enough.

If he’d parted the Red Sea – (Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)

Eat matzah. Drink more wine. Slouch.

Again thank God for everything.

P.S.: You should see our seder table. For the first time in like 20 years, we’re actually using our wedding china and crystal. Boy, does it look fancy!