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A Birthday Song for sethcohen

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Feb 04, 2011 @ 4:43 am PST

[Remember: Pick your song in the 7th Annual Birthday Song Poll]

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a Viking hat (horns and all), strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says:

I know you’re wondering what happened to my sharp lawman’s cowboy hat. We’ll, in honor of today’s song, I’ve decided to wear a different hat. I’ve also asked the Volga Boatmen to accompany me on this song. This is going out to you, sethcohen.

He then clears his throat, takes out his guitar, plucks an “A” note, and then starts singing:

Click Here for the Birthday Dirge (thud!)

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A Birthday Song for spunkylizard

Written By: cahwyguy - Thu Feb 03, 2011 @ 4:57 am PST

[Remember: Pick your song in the 7th Annual Birthday Song Poll]

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a Viking hat (horns and all), strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says:

I know you’re wondering what happened to my sharp lawman’s cowboy hat. We’ll, in honor of today’s song, I’ve decided to wear a different hat. I’ve also asked the Volga Boatmen to accompany me on this song. This is going out to you, spunkylizard.

He then clears his throat, takes out his guitar, plucks an “A” note, and then starts singing:

Click Here for the Birthday Dirge (thud!)

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A Birthday Song for dimensionm:

Written By: cahwyguy - Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 2:32 am PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a bright green silk uniform (with antique military buttons) strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, puts on a pair of oval wire-rim glasses, picks up an electric guitar, and starts singing Birthday for dimensionm:

You say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too–yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party.

    I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birthday
Dance

I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birthday

You say it’s your birthday
Well it’s my birthday too–yeah
You say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk! Note: The 7th Annual Poll is being posted on Tuesday!]

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A Birthday Song for shutterbug93

Written By: cahwyguy - Sun Jan 30, 2011 @ 5:01 am PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out and introduces himself as Sheriff John. He then pulls out his electric guitar, and says, “Happy Birthday, shutterbug93! This song, from the musical tick… tick… Boom!, is for you”. He then sings:

Stop the clock
Take time out
Time to regroup
Before you lose the bout
Face the thrill
Back it up
Time to refocus
Before they lap it up

Years are getting shorter
The lines on your face are getting longer
Feel like you’re treading water
But the riptide’s getting stronger
Don’t panic, don’t jump ship
Can’t fight it, like taxes
At least it happens
Only once in your life

They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
You just wanna lay down and cry
Not just another birthday, it’s 30/90
Why can’t you stay 29
Hell, you still feel like you’re 22
Turn 30 in 1990
Bang! You’re dead. What can you do?
What can you do?
What can you do?

Clear the runway
Make another pass
Try one more hook
Before you’re out of gas
Friends are getting fatter
Hairs on you head are getting thinner
Feel like a clean up batter
On a team that ain’t a winner

Don’t freak out, don’t strike out
Can’t fight it, like City Hall
At least you’re not alone
Your friends are there too

         They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
You just wish you could run away
Who cares about a birthday?
But 30/90, hey

Can’t you be optimistic?
You’re no longer eons of you
Turn 30, 1990
Voom! You’re passe
What can you do?

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell
Which way to Never Never Land?
Emerald City’s gone to hell
Since the wizard blew off his command

On the streets you hear the voices
Lost children, crocodiles
But you’re not into
Making choices, wicked witches,
Poppy fields, or men behind the curtains,
Tiger lilies, ruby slippers
Clock is ticking, that’s for certain

They’re singing, “Happy Birthday”
I just wish it all were a dream
It feels much more like doomsday
What 30/90 seems

I’m dying for a twister
I don’t see a rainbow, do you?
Turn 30 into 90
Look into my hands now
What the ball has passed
I want the spoils, but not too fast
The world is falling
It’s now or neverland
Why can’t I stay till
The forever end?
30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90. 30/90.
What can I do? What can I do?

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk! Note: The 7th Annual Poll is being posted on Tuesday!]

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A Birthday Song for estherchaya

Written By: cahwyguy - Sat Jan 29, 2011 @ 7:39 am PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says: OK, Lunch Brigaders, today we have a special song going out to estherchaya in honor of her special day. He pulls out his guitar, slicks back his hair in the manner of They Might Be Giants, and starts singing:

You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re older still

Time is marching on
And time is still marching on

    This day will soon be at an end
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s even sooner
This day will soon be at an end
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s sooner still

You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re older still

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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…and that other guy

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Jan 21, 2011 @ 11:06 pm PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says, “Boys and Girls, earlier this morning I promised you a second birthday song. This one is for our sponsor, Farmer John cahwyguy. As Tom Paxton says, when you reach a certain age, a computer somewhere spits out a card in a basement, and suddenly, a magazine appears at your doorstep. They no longer appear to call the magazine this, but the sentiment is still there:”

So when you find it in your mailbox for the first time my friend
You can tell that you getting older, you’re turning grey
It’s a first sign of decline, it’s a start of the end
When your wrinkles out number your hairs
then it’s headed your way
Chorus
Modern Maturity, means you’re getting old
When you get the magazine
that you hide from your friends
Once it was Rolling Stone, it was thrill after thrill
Now Modern Maturity means over the hill

When Mick Jagger has his breakfast of yogurt and bran
Does he read of prescriptions by mail or of self-rising chairs
You can keep on rockin’ and rollin’ as long as you can
But then you sit in your little seat and you ride up the stairs

(chorus: Modern Maturity…)

        I’ve looked through its pages and what I see there
Is that everyone looks about twenty-five with white hair

You can buy polyester pants for nineteen ninety-five
You can get your grandchildren’s picture on your coffee cup
And if you’re tired of walking
there’s a scooter that you can drive
Or a button to push if you’ve fallen
and you can’t get up

(chorus: Modern Maturity…)

MODERN MATURITY (Tom Paxton)
Copyright (c) 1993 Pax Music (ASCAP)

[Just a note from cahwyguy: Thanks for all the birthday wishes. The day was actually so-so, primarily due to a lingering migraine that started at 3am and has been off and on. The highlight of the day was the Tom Paxton concert we just got back from. I’ll write it up tomorrow.]

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Birthday Wishes for elasticity and …

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Jan 21, 2011 @ 3:33 am PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and, but wait… he’s wearing sunglasses, and swaying back and forth. He pulls out his 88-key accordion, and says, “This one’s for you, elasticity, who was chosen to be born on a really great day”. He starts singing…

You know it doesn't make much sense / There ought to be a law against / Anyone who takes offense / At a day in your celebration

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Birthday Wishes for venedotia

Written By: cahwyguy - Thu Jan 13, 2011 @ 4:20 am PST

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a Viking hat (horns and all), strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says:

I know you’re wondering what happened to my sharp lawman’s cowboy hat. We’ll, in honor of today’s song, I’ve decided to wear a different hat. I’ve also asked the Volga Boatmen to accompany me on this song. This is going out to you, venedotia.

He then clears his throat, takes out his guitar, plucks an “A” note, and then starts singing:

Click Here for the Birthday Dirge (thud!)

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