Observations Along the Road

Theatre Writeups, Musings on the News, Rants and Roadkill Along the Information Superhighway

Birthday Songs for aviatrix and underpope

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Dec 31, 2010 @ 5:41 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his accordion, and says, “Today, we have two birthday songs. First up is a belated song for aviatrix, whose birthday was yesterday but the birdie with the news was delayed until today.” He then starts singing the Birthday Cake Polka:

Put another candle on my birthday cake
We’re gonna bake a birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

I’m gonna have a party with my birthday cake
Come on and take some birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

    We’ll have some pie and sandwiches
And chocolate ice cream too
We’ll sing and play the day away
And one more thing I’m gonna do

I’ll blow out the candles on my birthday cake
And when I do, a wish I’ll make
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

Happy Birthday to You
You’re another year old today.

Next up is today’s birthday boy. Ready? The Sheriff pulls out his accordion, and then starts singing “Happy Birthday” (from Weird Al Yankovic’s debut album) for underpope:

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, / It happens every year / We'll eat a lot of broccoli / And drink a lot of beer

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A Birthday Song for alohawolf

Written By: cahwyguy - Sun Dec 26, 2010 @ 6:01 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and pulls out his accordion, and then starts singing the Birthday Cake Polka for alohawolf:

Put another candle on my birthday cake
We’re gonna bake a birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

I’m gonna have a party with my birthday cake
Come on and take some birthday cake
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

    We’ll have some pie and sandwiches
And chocolate ice cream too
We’ll sing and play the day away
And one more thing I’m gonna do

I’ll blow out the candles on my birthday cake
And when I do, a wish I’ll make
Put another candle on my birthday cake
I’m another year old today

Happy Birthday to You
You’re another year old today.

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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A Birthday Song for bellwethr

Written By: cahwyguy - Mon Dec 20, 2010 @ 5:02 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and join Sheriff John in singing the Birthday Cake Polka for bellwethr… but wait… the Sheriff’s not on today. Instead, we have a funny looking group of three guys, and they are singing:

Once a year we celebrate
With stupid hats and plastic plates
The fact that you were able to make
Another trip around the sun

And the whole clan gathers round
And gifts and laughter do abound
And we let out a joyful sound
And sing that stupid song

Happy birthday!
Now you’re one year older!
Happy birthday!
Your life still isn’t over!
Happy birthday!
You did not accomplish much
But you didn’t die this year
I guess that’s good enough

So let’s drink to your fading health
And hope you don’t remind yourself
The chance of finding fame and wealth
Decrease with every year

Does it feel like you’re doing laps
And eating food and taking naps
And hoping that someday perhaps
Your life will hold some cheer

Happy birthday!
What have you done that matters?
Happy birthday!
You’re starting to get fatter
Happy birthday!
It’s downhill from now on
Try not to remind yourself
Your best years are all gone

If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice

But instead your time is set
This is the only life you get
And though it hasn’t ended yet
Sometimes you wish it might

Happy birthday!
You wish you had more money
Happy birthday!
Your life’s so sad it’s funny
Happy birthday!
How much more can you take?
But your friends are hungry
So just cut the stupid cake

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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A Birthday Song for ellipticcurve

Written By: cahwyguy - Wed Dec 08, 2010 @ 5:05 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says: OK, Lunch Brigaders, today we have a special song going out to ellipticcurve in honor of her special day. He pulls out his guitar, slicks back his hair in the manner of They Might Be Giants, and starts singing:

You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re older still

Time is marching on
And time is still marching on

    This day will soon be at an end
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s even sooner
This day will soon be at an end
And now it’s even sooner
And now it’s sooner still

You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
And now you’re even older
You’re older than you’ve ever been
And now you’re even older
And now you’re older still

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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A Birthday Song for aliza250

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Nov 19, 2010 @ 4:49 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform, wearing a Viking hat (horns and all), strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says:

I know you’re wondering what happened to my sharp lawman’s cowboy hat. We’ll, in honor of today’s song, I’ve decided to wear a different hat. I’ve also asked the Volga Boatmen to accompany me on this song. This is going out to you, aliza250.

He then clears his throat, takes out his guitar, plucks an “A” note, and then starts singing:

Click Here for the Birthday Dirge (thud!)

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A Birthday Song for kyburg

Written By: cahwyguy - Sun Nov 14, 2010 @ 8:03 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform walks out, sits down at a piano, pulls over the boom microphone suspended overhead, and says, “This birthday song is going out to today’s birthday girl, kyburg:

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Tonight’s the night I’ve waited for
Because you’re not a baby anymore
You’ve turned into the prettiest girl
    I’ve ever seen,
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

What happened to that funny face
My little tomboy now wears
    heels and lace
I can’t believe my eyes
    you’re just a teenage dream
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

    When you were only six
    you played with your big brother
Then when you were ten
    you didn’t like each other
When you were thirteen
    you were my funny valentine
But since you’ve grown up
    your future is sewn up
From now on you’re gonna be mine, so

If I should smile with sweet surprise
It’s just that you’ve grown up
    before my very eyes
You’ve turned into the prettiest girl
    I’ve ever seen
Happy birthday sweet sixteen

Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen
Tra la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Happy birthday sweet sixteen

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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A Birthday Song for dianec42

Written By: cahwyguy - Fri Nov 12, 2010 @ 4:53 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a bright green silk uniform (with antique military buttons) strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, puts on a pair of oval wire-rim glasses, picks up an electric guitar, and starts singing Birthday for dianec42:

You say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too–yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party
Yes we’re going to a party party.

    I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birthday
Dance

I would like you to dance–Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance–Birthday

You say it’s your birthday
Well it’s my birthday too–yeah
You say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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A Birthday Song for msolursh

Written By: cahwyguy - Wed Nov 10, 2010 @ 4:45 am PDT

OK, Folks, you know the drill. Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says: “Today, folks, we have an unusual request, for a song from a group called, uhh, Concrete Blonde (hey, Bob, is that a real group name?). In any case, I’ll try to sing this right with my ukulele here, as we wish the happiest of birthdays to msolursh“:

Outside in the hall there’s a catfight
It’s well after midnight
I guess I’ll be allright
I’m laid out on the floor
Drunk and poor
How much longer how much more

Rock me to sleep
Strong & deep.
The screaming cats they give me the creep
But aside from all that I feel no pain
Staring up at the ceiling stains
…neon in the window
…sirens far away
…news on the radio happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday

    They’re at it again next door
This whole floor I swear
They’re out to drive me crazy
Not right now I’m high as a cloud I’m soft and gray and lazy
…neon in the window
…sirens far away
…news on the radio happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday

Fly me
Out the window.
Somewhere far away
Singing on the radio

[Did you know you can pick which song the Sheriff sings for you on your birthday? It’s easy. Just visit the 6th Annual Birthday Poll on Livejournal (FB users: you can now log into LJ with your FB ID and vote in the poll!). Note that if you want the birdie to be able to inform the Sheriff about your birthday, you need to make sure your birth month and day is in your LJ or FB profile, and it is visible to your friends. Note that the Sheriff only sings a song if I know you personally or you’re a regular commenter. So don’t lurk!]

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