Allright everyone, let’s gather in front of our large, 13″, Black and White TV set, and watch as a tall, lanky man in a khaki uniform strides out, introduces himself as Sheriff John, and says: “Our first birthday dedication today goes out to a delightful young lady living in the land of green-soon-to-be-blue suiters in the open expanses of Utah, Miss mortuus.” The Sheriff strums his accordion, and starts singing:
| Once a year we celebrate With stupid hats and plastic plates The fact that you were able to make Another trip around the sun And the whole clan gathers round Happy birthday! |
So let’s drink to your fading health And hope you don’t remind yourself The chance of finding fame and wealth Decrease with every year Does it feel like you’re doing laps Happy birthday! |
If cryogenics were all free Then you could live like Walt Disney And live for all eternity Inside a block of ice But instead your time is set Happy birthday! |
We then have a commercial for Farmer John Hot Dogs (sponsor of the show). After the commercial, the Sheriff is back, but he is now dressed in a bright green silk uniform (with antique military buttons). He says, “Our next birthday dedication is for Mr. larymotrmn, a friend of mine from Orange Empire Railway Museum, where they preserve the transportation I used to ride to the KTTV studios“. He puts on a pair of oval wire-rim glasses, sets down his accordion and picks up an electric guitar, and starts singing:
| You say it’s your birthday It’s my birthday too–yeah They say it’s your birthday We’re gonna have a good time I’m glad it’s your birthday Happy birthday to you. Yes we’re going to a party party |
I would like you to dance–Birthday Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday I would like you to dance–Birthday Dance I would like you to dance–Birthday |
You say it’s your birthday Well it’s my birthday too–yeah You say it’s your birthday We’re gonna have a good time I’m glad it’s your birthday Happy birthday to you. |
[Please remember, if you fill out the updated poll in this posting, I can make sure you get the birthday song you want.]
